Today’s Question:

All I want to know is this: If the Snorks and Smurfs went to war,
which would win?

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Johnny’s Answer:

Good question, Chuckles. I’ve asked military questions like that myself. Like, “would Custer have won at Bull Run if ‘Mothra’ had come to help?”

For those of you who don’t remember, Smurfs live in a secret forest and use “Smurf” in place of a lot of words (as in “hey, did you hear that Brainy picks his nose and eats the Smurfs he finds up there?”).

Snorks, however, are creatures that live under water. They have a tube sticking out of their head that provides them with air-pressure propulsion. At Snork fraternities, though, they’ve been known to hold a lit match up by the tube and light what comes out.

In a Snorks vs. Smurfs war, I’d put my money on the Smurfs. All those battles against Asrael and Gargamel have forced the Smurfs to build up their arsenal. Most people don’t realize the Smurfs have dang near as many ICBM’s as Iraq did before the Gulf War.

Maybe we shouldn’t be worrying about the North Koreans nuking us — maybe those little blue guys are the biggest threat.