There’s a monster in my pants,
And it does a nasty dance,
When it moves in and out,
All the people start to shout,

Monster! Aigh! Monster! Ooh! Get out of here monster!
Monster! Monster! Get out of here monster!

There’s a monster in my pants,
And it does a naughty dance,
When it sees the light of day,
You can hear the people say,

Oh no, a monster! Oh no, a monster!
Oh no! Oh oh! Oh no a giant monster!
Oh no, a monster! Oh no, a monster!
Oh no! Oh oh! Oh no a giant monster!

Shut the window, bolt the door,
Don’t want to see that monster no more!
Shut the window, bolt the door,
Don’t want to see that monster no more!

There’s a monster in my pants,
And it does a modern dance,
When it comes into the room,
People hit it with a broom,

Take that monster! Take that monster!
Take it! Take it! Take that you awful thing!
Take that! Aigh! Take that! Ooh!
Take it! Take it! Take that you naughty thing!

And they don’t wear pants,
On the other side of France,
But they do wear fleas,
To protect them from the bees

Monster! Monster! Oh gee, a pregnant monster!

There’s a monster on the run,
And it wants to have some fun,
When it flies up in the air,
All the people stop and stare,
The guys give a yell,
And the girls start to shriek,
When they see it’s giant claws,
And it’s razor-sharp beak!

(Gosh, would you look at that thang?)
(And I thought dinosaurs were extinct!)