Yabba dabba doom? Fuggedaboutit.

Today is a good day to be an arenophile.

That is someone who collects sand. So much to know about sand! Did you know any particle measuring between 0.125 and 2.0 millimeters is sand? And if it contains enough silica, sand can be melted down to make glass?

These are thoughts to ponder when our heads are plunged into it. Sand, that is.

Down there, all is silence. Pity the poor fools who don’t live near a beach. All they can do is jam their fingers in their ears, close their eyes and sing really loudly to drown out thoughts of Hurricane Wilma.

Another hurricane? LA LA LA LA, WE CAN’T HEAR YOU, HER NAME IS LOLA, SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL…

Hurricane denial. It’s a common affliction.

Basic cable channel 58? No way, man. There is no channel 58. It is dead to us. Keep your Weather Channel, and your Cone of Terror, and your Jim Cantore. We want none of it. It’s all bad news, leading to the inevitable days of trail mix and cold showers and downed ficus trees and generator exhaust and chainsaw injuries and gas lines.

Gov. Bush, frowny-faced at the press conference, telling us to Take This Seriously.

How? It’s named Wilma, for Pete’s sake. What’s it going to do, sic Dino on us? Throw Fred’s bowling ball at us? No, better to make fun, and ridiculous Flintstones references.

Otherwise, grim reality. A hurricane is headed this way. Again. Sure, we’ve been relatively lucky this year, and chances are that our luck will hold, in the sense that we’ll be cranky and without power, rather than homeless like Katrina and Rita victims.

It’s just, you know. Yuck. Hurricanes are gross. They ruin everything. They steal any sense of normalcy. They are bullies. We are sick of them.

So… denial! Wilma Schmilma. Six weeks left in hurricane season and our MO is reduced to this: Ignore it and maybe it will go away (a corollary to solving car troubles by turning up the radio). It’s just too much, thinking about it.

A little frivolity instead. Stock up on supplies? Tra la la, we’ll just eat whatever’s in the cupboard! Which is cat food? Ha ha! Sweetie Pie won’t mind sharing! And let’s make plans for the weekend! Let’s go boating!

And until then, let’s read US Weekly instead of the stories on the front page! Let’s watch reruns of Laguna Beach instead of the news!

Let’s find some sand, and stick our heads right in. Where it’s nice. Where it’s quiet.