Ate 1 good sized chunk of banana bread, lots of water, cheese sammich on a crescent roll, a fistful of doritos, and a oatmeal-reaisin cookie. at 2pm. I’m Hungry. Looks like a taco bell night again, unless I can just cope, and not eat until tomorrow. I won’t. I know it. Curse Taco Bell, and the mind-bendingly tasty beanpaste they offer to me, like some sort of Tex-mex crack cocaine.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Sarcasm
We don’t listen to warning labels, and I can prove it. On every pack of cigarettes, it TELLS YOU IT’S GOING TO KILL YOU. This isn’t a warning label on a plastic bag that was written by some jerk at the plastic bag factory. The warning on cigarettes comes from the Surgeon General. You can ignore advice from non-surgeons. If your stupid friend tells his girlfriend the key to curing her cold is plenty of rest and giving him head, she’ll remind them, “Hey, you’re not a doctor!” right before she gives him head. Well the Surgeon General is a doctor. In fact, they’re the supreme commander of doctors. If doctors were to start a war against the bowlers or the bird watchers, the Surgeon General would have the biggest hat and stand at the back of the army shouting, “Hold the line, men! Take two of these FISTS and call me in the morning!” Read the pack of cigarettes. If the Surgeon General tells you something might kill you and give your future kids extra toes and eyes, listen to him. Do you need a warning from the Surgeon Jesus before you start taking advice?
The non-smoking commercials are actually funded by the company that makes cigarettes. It’s like they’re taunting us. Are they flash-framing subliminal messages at us? How can half the country smoke when the only thing on my TV is lists of tobacco death statistics. We know more about what cigarette does to the human body than than anyone knows about anything else. Unless you count my knowledge of Wonder Woman’s breasts, and you don’t.
They have to be mocking us. One of the commercials actually says “Tobacco is Wacko (if you’re a teen).” That’s the kind of shit you’d hear from a person in a fucking puppy costume. That’s the kind of campaign that can get non-smokers called fags in their schools. Did the mormons decide to take over on the anti-smoking ads for a week or something? I know they did a great job spreading that crazy religion around the country, but getting cigarettes out of kids mouths is a lot harder than getting people to go to church. Church is seductive; you get everlasting life and those lenghty painful medical procedures are reduced to getting slapped in the head by a man on a stage. Convincing a kid to not smoke is a harder kind of mind control. You remember the mind control used on us that made us all lay down and cover our heads every day at 4:00? Of course you don’t. Because the Russians don’t want you to.
People claimed Joe Camel marketed tobacco to kids. Bullshit. Think of all the forest fires that got started just to piss Smokey the Bear off. Kids hate you. They hate your irrational bitchy asses. Nicotine barely makes you high. You can smoke 50 cigarettes, and still get about as high as you would if you held your breath for half a minute. So they’re not doing it to get high, and the fact that most of us are still sane after the Super Friends and the Banana Splits proves that kids don’t base their lives on what cartoon animals say. Screw Joe Camel. They’re doing it because they know that if their lobbying parents are trying to get rid of something, it must kick ass. Remember video games, sex, alcohol, not being somebodydrugs, and fire hazards? Of course you don’t. Because the Russians don’t want you to.
Cigarettes give you black lungs, shortness of breath, yellow teeth, your clothes smell like something you spilled on the stove, and then you die coughing forty years before your friends. The Surgeon General or a man in a puppy suit might have mentioned all that. But what they didn’t mention was that cigarettes give your hands something to do when you’re in a bar. People who don’t smoke nervously fidget their hands around all night. Biology did what it could; it gave women breasts so man would have something to grab onto instead of fidgeting. This groping helps keep them from taking up smoking. Ladies, please offer your breasts for the sake of his health, and yours! (Second hand smoke is a killer too!)
Aieee! Today, there was no net at work.
Totally dreadful. I couldn’t get files, couldn’t send email to clients.
I couldn’t surf, AIM or ICQ!!!! The humanity!
Here’s Scotto playing catch-up.
Checked my Voicemail, and got a swell message from Gina. *sexy* voice. 🙂 Sakes, no wonder people stalk the girl.
On to paces. Ate sweet & sour tofu for lunch, a bunch o’ water, I imagine about 3 gallons.
3 slices of cheese pizza for dinner, (big, healthy, piggy slices. more than 1/3 pie, less than 1/2. two-fifths? would that work out right? yeah. 40% of a pie.
Had a 100 grand candy bar. new stuff in the vending machine!
Does anyone remember when it was $100,000 bar insead of grand?
finished Harry potter 2: electric boogaloo. Not as good as #1, sort of a weak climax, but still fun.
Started Harry Potter 3 – off to a strong start. (I skipped starting return of the king, because the books are more ponderous, less popcornish. Will go there while waiting for a pirate version of #4.)
I identify strongly with Hagrid. Animal Loving troll. *time out for Newton-hug for Erin*
MMMMmmmMMMMMmmMMMMM. Love that furry orange guy. I wonder how his sister Mandy is doing.. and the brian / heather combo, too, come to think of it. I know H’s birthday was recent, I missed it, but just as well, as I am flat broke. (only 9 more days to payday! hurry!)
Robb got back from Seattle, so I look forward to seeing him sometime this week. 🙂 I’ll be sad when he finally moves there permanent like., but happy for him.
Suzy went to visit her probation officer, and didn’t make it to DMV to take care of her old ticket… if this goes wrong she could end up back in jail, with no bond. dopey girl. We’ll find out tomorrow!
Here’s my Everyway character
Name: Wanders the Storm Path
Virtue: The Fish (the soul prevails)
Fault: Winter (inexperience)
Fate: Fool (lack of control vs. freedom)
Air 4 – debate
Fire 5 – dominating will
Earth 4 – maintain clarity
Water 4 – sense fear
Magic 3 – Path of the Storm
I’ll add his history and character story tomorrow, if work’s net is up.
got my chinese food… sezuan tofu and veggies, extra spicy. very yummy.
My necklace with the fish vertebrae broke, so I’m going back to the hemp one with the bear charm.
April’s been going out with folks form work, and drinking alcohol with her welbutrin. Idiot.
Dolt. Dumkopf. If she dies, I hope it’s not at my apartment. The dumbass.
Oooh! The new spiderman ride at universal look like it really rocks!
rollercoaster & 3-d movies, all sorts of villains and fast, action stuff.
keen!!!
bad day for food.- ate nothing, drank about 1&1/2 gallons of water. – no food in fridge
remedy? order chinese or somesuch for supper, go shopping tomorrow b4 work
bad day for $$$- Loaned Suzy $200 for court – got $100 phone bill
remedy? tighten belt, stick with grocery food, not takeout after tonight. maybe grocery tonight instead of chinese?
bad day for sleep – only slept 3 hours last night, and none in a row.
remedy? Sleep late tomorrow, and hope the sleep study in 2 weeks works out.
good day for net, I got to ICQ with Gina!
bad day ICQ crashed mid-chat. web browesing mostly dead at work – I’ll call it even. 😐
Solution – doing it, surfing form home, now that i’m here… glean entertainment form harry potter book on palm.
good day, I got mucho loves from newton
good day, getting along with April
good day, Danny called and said hey.
good day, I got my workout back on schedule (did it before work, when I couldn’t sleep)
good day, I got flirts from Suzy and Gloria from work.
good day, Kevin farted in front of the recptionist, and made me laugh.
good day, got a nice email.
final call… bad day, but fixable, and amusing, if tough.
Our word “idiot” comes from the Greek name for the man who took no share in public matters.
Edith Hamilton
:The 29th Scroll, 6th verse.
Beware the beast man,
for he is the devil’s pawn.
Alone among God’s primates,
he kills for sport, for lust, for greed.
Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother’s land.
Let him not breed in great numbers,
for he will make a desert of his home, and yours.
Shun him. Drive him back into his jungle lair,
for he is the harbinger of death.
(Courtesy: The Planet of the Apes)
from an old journal entry, circa october 5 1998.
Production Concept: We Like Pie
Brief Summary: Four people on a road trip reflect on their travels, and review sampled pie along the way.
Extended Summary (selling points): Think ‘Road Rules’ in book format. Two girls and two guys driving around, going through the trials and triumphs of traveling from point to point, having a good time, but not without the dramatic point or two. Four distinctly different personalities, with a common goal, Pie. Included will be ‘biographies’ written about each of the journeymen, by each of them. (I.E. Scott writes bios for everyone, Kevin writes bios for everyone, etc.) Also, there’ll be commentary about the trip from center to center, and reviews of the pies sampled. Reviews will understandably vary from person to person. Each person will get two slices per visit, a ‘signature pie’ and a varied slice of choice. (I.E. Nicole will always get a slice of apple pie, and at least taste some sort of other pie.) Pictures of the travels are a must. Cover shot idea: Nicole and Heather in pink waitress outfits, pie in hand, over shoulder, Kevin and Scott squishing each other’s face with same. (Preemptive or after attack?) Possible spin-offs: We Like Soup, We Like Naps, and We Don’t Like Liver & Onions. Perhaps a ‘We Like Pie’ franchise, vending pies to those who would be cool like us…Planet Hollywood style, with paraphernalia from the original road trip.
Distribution Methods: Preferably by a standard publishing house, but guerrilla-style COD marketing if needed. J
Pies already sampled: Nicole: Apple with Vanilla, and Scott: Chocolate Sundae Pie, Served by Phyllis, at Denny’s, Pompano Beach, September 12, 1998. Nicole: Apple with Chocolate, IHOP at Pompano Beach, on October 7, 1998.
Scott’s take on the Gang: (as of 10/5/98)
Kevin: Well, I’ve known Kevin for quite a long time now. Since 1984, back in the good old days of high school, as it were. I made fun of his brother at a school function, and we’ve been fast friends ever since. We shared enough common interests to hang around and filmed silly home-movies that only the makers can appreciate, or even enjoy. Kevin is quite the throwback, behavior-wise, in the best of all possible meanings. A noble, honest, genuine, giving person, he doesn’t drink, smoke or consume any non-prescription drug, including aspirin, as far as I know. He’s somebody I’d gladly let marry my sister, if I had one. A science fiction fan, a connoisseur of vintage television (especially cartoons), and a scholar of historic warfare, especially World War Two. Tastes in music run from Frank Sinatra to Phil Collins, with a smattering of Julie Andrews in there for taste. He has a good sense of humor, (from my point of view, anyhow) in that he can make stunning observations on the world around him in the blink of an eye, from bodily functions to references to ancient episodes of Happy Days. He’s gentle to children and adults alike, and I’ve never known him to get angry without undue cause. He gives to charity, an unusual trait in someone his age, has a strong sense of right and wrong, and even better, acts on that sense. Not only mentally fit, he takes reasonable care of himself physically, and has spent a number of years studying the martial arts (as of this writing, he’s rapidly approaching his black belt.) He only gives advice if asked, and when he gives it, it’s usually the good stuff. If I had to pick a flaw in his character, I’d be hard pressed to find one, save that if someone can be generous to fault, he is. Super-hero personality closest to his is Superman. My final analysis: Kevin Albury is the perennial ‘Mr. Nice Guy’. He’s swell, and represents the Daddy of the group.
Nicole: Both of the girls came along in my travels much later, when I returned to work with Kevin for the second time. Nicole I’ve known about five months, and she’s a nice person. Among her strengths I’d say one of her greatest is that she has quite an element of Will Rogers to her personality, in that she can get along well with virtually everyone she meets, and is the most outgoing of the lot of us. She also has a definitely powerful sense of satire when it comes to watching how people work together. Not only does Nicole have a lovely demeanor; her visage is about as easy on the eyes as it gets around here. Nicknamed Scully by Kevin, (in honor of the X-files character, natch,) she’s quite well designed physically. Odd but cute traits include a ‘Zelda-blink’; (fans of Dobie Gillis will understand what I’m talking about), a quirky smile, and the first circumstance of an actual bubbly-sort of laugh. I honestly think it sounds like a giggle of soda pop rising up, very neat, and pretty infectious. Her company is always welcome, as a guy can talk about ‘boy-stuff’ in her presence. She possesses a strong common sense, even if it isn’t always acted on. (In other words, she one of the people I know who is otherwise intelligent but still smokes. Forget the common cold, I want a quick, easy cure for nicotine addiction.) Personally, I think that she and Kevin would make a cute couple, but she suffers from the “but we’re already such good friends, I don’t want to wreck it” syndrome. Regardless, I consider her a pal, and so does he. Super-Hero personality closest to hers is She-Hulk (sensational, not savage). My final analysis: Nicole Hanak is ?!?
Heather: The ‘little sister’ of the group, more to follow.
Went to the 5th annual Jerry Garcia Birthday bash in south Florida.
5 hours of grateful dead music, hippy food, and assorted fun stuff. Had a grand time. Discovered an ex-stalker (psycho-chick) got herself pregnant, and has a baby now! Hopefully this will keep Bev out of the running for hunting ol’ Scotto down now, as she has something else to focus attention on.
Had vegan gumbo and potato salad, and penang Thai tofu for supper, some lemon cake & coffee while playing yahtzee with buddies Cathi & Dave. I enjoyed myself immensely.
I need to get ahold of Robby, H and Bri for lunch sometime next week. I’ve not seen or heard from them in a while. 12-8 tomorrow at work, then back to the 4pm to midnight shift again, once tuan returns. I’d love to keep the 12-8 shift, for just Fridays, if I could.
maybe 3 up, 2 down?
Seemed to get along very well with April today. Yay!
Little brother (6’6″, and 29 in September is little?!?) got a job at a bar on Los Olas, something Amici. Looks like he’s making about 85 a day on non-season, so that’ll take good care of him, I feel.
All in all a good day. I need to go shopping to renew food supplies.
Boing!
green lantern, more seanbabisms.
Green Lantern’s ring was the most powerful weapon in the universe except against the color yellow. I’m not kidding, his weakness was the color yellow. You might think he’d try to keep something like that secret, but there is nothing Green Lantern liked to talk about more. He’d wave a fist at the bad guys and shout, “Justice will prevail today, villains! Unless you learn that my power energy cannot affect that which is yellow!” And to make Green Lantern the most unlucky person in the universe, his nemesis Sinestro had a ring that made things that were yellow. That’s like twin brothers fighting, only one gets baseball bat with spikes and has a giant purple head.
Green Lantern got his super ring when a navy bean-headed alien crash landed on Earth and handed it to him right before he died. I guess in space no one makes out a will. When you think you’re about to die, you pick up a phone book and give everything you own to whatever name your finger lands on. And if you’re handing over a potentially universe-threatening weapon, even better that it goes to a randomly selected stranger!
Serious Fact: I keep a white board by my VCR, and marked down every time Green Lantern’s powers worked against yellow. Out of 30 episodes where Green Lantern appeared, his powers worked against the color yellow 24 times. In fact, in 3 episodes, the stuff he made was yellow already. It had to be something wrong with my TV, since I figured if you made a yellow rocket that couldn’t touch the color yellow, the world would explode. No, my TV was fine. Either the guys who colored the show had all their green markers dry up, or they got hammered before they started.
The ring could make anything he could think of which usually wasn’t much. Once or twice he’d go crazy with it and if he needed to knock something over, he’d create himself a crazy robot bulldozer and a viking hard hat, but most days he would just shoot green energy at the thing until it fell over. The Wonder Twins may have sucked, but when they needed to knock something over, they never took it out the easy way. At their most sensical, they’d turn into a giant lobster (with water backpack) or a rhino squid (in ice belt). Green Lantern would punch people with things as uncreative as a giant hand. He had to know kids were watching; he could have tried harder to make it more interesting. Like a giant hand with breasts or a talking hamburger.
 It’s a pretty common assumption that Batman and Robin were lovers, but Batman at least tried to hide it. He put a little belt on Robin so it looked like he was a fellow crime fighter, not just some kid he puts his tongue in when there’s no evil to punch. Kids watching the show could defend him. They could tell their parents, “No, look. Robin has his own crime belt. I told you he wasn’t his boyfriend.” Green Lantern wasn’t so clever. Kairo had nothing that indicated he should be fighting for justice, and spent most of his time with his crotch firmly pressed against Green Lantern’s ass. While we’re talking about it, I don’t think Aquaman and Aqualad were romantic, but only because it’s impossible to imagine Aquaman getting laid by anyone. |
Green Lantern’s sidekick was the coolest. The cartoon called him “Hal Jordan’s Venutian helper.” He was a little boy from Venus named Kairo and he never did anything other than get captured. He was real good at that, though.
He could get captured 8 times during a four minute episode. He would already be tied up by one villain and a new villain would stop by just to tie him up some more and have his henchmen throw a net on him. Then he’d wander into an open well filled with scorpions. A few hours alone, and Kairo would have been dead with or without evil’s help. The other Super Friends all had sidekicks that were a tiny bit better than useless. Robin had bat-shaped tubes of paste he could throw, Hawkman’s bird could scream and peck, Aqualad had a seahorse and a walrus, and Kid Flash could run fast. Kairo had a pantsuit and his ears came to a point. Those are the exact same powers as a housepainter that grew up underneath power lines.
Kairo didn’t care. He never got his own flying saucer or invisible jetski or any type of weapon. You know how he travelled? He actually had to ride Green Lantern’s ass through space. Of all the heroes in the universe, Green Lantern’s the only one that can make a motorcycle with his mind. Kairo should have been the last sidekick that needed to resort to a piggyback ride. And when they got to other planets, Green Lantern didn’t make him a green boomerang. Kairo had to pick a fight with nothing but a vacant smile. Hey, atomic monster. Try a taste of Kairo’s innocent sense of well being!
I don’t know how Green Lantern recruited him. Kairo was probably selling candy bars door-to-door, and after Green Lantern bought 12 cases, he received the bonus prize, “Spend a day the rest of your life with Kairo!”
more aV translations
I love little Newtie more than corn flakes. (in)
J’aime peu de Newtie davantage que des flocons d’avoine. (back) I like little Newtie more that rolled oats.
Ich liebe wenig Newtie mehr als Corn Flakes. (back) I love few Newtie more than Corn Flakes
Eu amo pouco Newtie mais do que flocos de milho. (back)I like few Newtie more than the rolled oats
Amo poco Newtie más que las avenas. (back) – Master little Newtie more than oats.
rats live on no evil star.
eating veggie-dogs, chatting with Zoe, and watching h2g2 on my old VCR.
food today:
3 veggie dogs
4 slices of black olive & mushroom pizza.
Items of interest to me.
Caught April in 2 lies between the hours of 10pm and 12 PM tonight. 1 regarding how much she drank, another of her not eating my food. I didn’t even challenge, because she is out of here in 3 weeks and counting. I don’t care if she lies to me anymore, but she’d better not steal.
Newtie is grooming me, licking the back of my head! Good, lovey kitty.
Met my new everway group. Some nice folks, 3 slob-tech gamers, and one wife-gamer.
Jeffery – met over the net, he found me in a gamer’s directory. Nice guy, as old as I am, married to Bee (Bridgett? Beatrice?) Used to service the machines where I work, and is GM. Kind enough to pick me up and take me home from the game. Seems to dash of on tangents, I imagine staying on topic during the game will be a challenge, but not impossible, fortunately that doesn’t bug me much. 31
Bee – South African, very pleasant, entertaining & gracious. She seems to enjoy my quirks (all of them came up tonight, it seems, from vegetarianism, carelessness, to waving at graveyards.) was amused by some of my stories, and her Afrikaans is close enough to German that we could make silly comments. Met husband over IRC, net wedding. 🙂 23
Joe – Seemed nice, didn’t get a strong vibe, still new to rpg, looks to be suffering a bit from tech burnout. has a palm IIIE 24
Chris?(not sure of name) The only skinny one of us, witty, and quick to adapt to most social behaviors. He’s the gamer who quotes python, makes squirrel and slug comments, and is a primary distraction during the game. I’m sure I’ll get on well with him. 22
Aleria (Bee’s visiting sister from Italy) Cute young lady, fond of train spotting and ewen macgregor, Speaks buckets of languages, and is quite polite and conversant, even though her English is a bit broken. 17
I think I came off as ‘mentor-man’ or maybe ‘overbearing man’ depending on the person. I maintained politeness and helped out where possible, tried not to step on conversations, but may have. It’s funny, I’m confident the girls like me, and Chris, but am not terribly sure of Joe and Jeffery. (they probably did too, just didn’t get a strong congenial vibe)
Many good characters.