Turtle

You will be pleased to know that in your former life you were a turtle named Gifford. Details about your life are a bit sketchy, but what follows is a brief summary, based on public records. You were born in a small pond near the side of a saloon. Despite an exceptionally athletic father, you seemed to prefer sunbathing and mudbaths to more active pursuits. Your favorite color was never green, contrary to rumor, but actually blue. Few people knew that you were a talented poet, but most of your work was destroyed during a flashflood that swept away not only your library, but your entire community. You had the pluck to survive, and lived a happy and charmed life with your wife Melinda and your twenty offspring.