Tomorrow would’ve been my father’s 55th birthday, were he still alive.
It’s odd, he’s been dead for just over twelve years now, and I still miss him quite a lot at times. In another span of the same, I’ll be as old as he was when he died. About now I start thinking about where I am compared to where he was at the same time.
Much of what follows happened before most of my friends on LJ were even born. I don’t feel old!
Things about my dad at 31, to the best of my memory. The year was 1976. Billy Beer was bought and sold as a drink. To quote my Dad, “Bleah. Urine.” His favorite movie that year was Murder by death, which I really only remember because we all saw it together during summer vacation. He had two boys, 7, and 3, and was happily married for the last nine years. Between what the wife was making as a hairdresser, and his job as engineer there was enough money to keep everyone comfortably fed, clothed and housed in a 4 bedroom home in Richmond Virginia. The family had three cars, one for the mother to run errands and work (green chevy duster), one for the father to run errands and work(yellow corvette stingray), and one for father and his pals to tinker on weekends..(unknown, but it was loud and rusty the whole time I remember it. (they didn’t drink Billy beer. The beer of choice at that time was Bud.) ) He spent every Sunday with the family, reading the comics with the kids, and going fishing at least once a month, “just the boys”. Fish was caught most weekends, and grilled that night. If nothing was caught we picked up burger meat at the local A&P, with the same results. That year, we vacationed in Mexico, and my father was hurt by a sting ray, diving. The only other folks out on the boat was myself and a friend of his, Roman. Roman was useless, (on reflection, he must’ve been either drunk or high) so my dad had to do some creative surgery on himself with a knife to dig the stinger out, tie a tourniquet on his leg, and drive the boat all the way back to shore, with me there, very frightened the whole time. (mother and my little brother were ashore, shopping). He turned out ok, but had a 4 inch scar on his thigh from then on. At that period in his life, my dad was a whiz at math, history, and things mechanical. Some of his weaknesses I remember were a complete lack of depth perception, a strong sense of “what’s Right”, and a powerful stubborn streak.
Compare:
Me, at 31, to the best of my memory. The year is 2000. Corona’s are bought and sold as a drink. Bleah. Urine. My favorite movie this year is best in show. and perhaps that sticks in my minds because I’ve seen it recently. I have no children or wife, but there’s someone I find very special. I’m living in a studio apartment in South Florida with a cat, and in my job as data architect/ programmer, I get by reasonably well with food, room, and clothing. I have no car, and spend a healthy chunk of the weekend surfing the net, seeing movies and playing with Newt. I don’t get together with the guys weekly, but see folks on occasion, and am working on having Sundays return to boys night with my brother and I. I tend to get takeout every Sunday, usually Italian, or Chinese. (I wish there were more Mexican/Spanish delivery places). This year, I’ve vacationed briefly (a weekend) in Disney, where thankfully I needed no self-inflicted knife wound to survive, but most of the folks I went with were stoned to pieces, so it’s just as well. At this period in my life, I view myself a whiz at trivia, history, and most computer stuff. Some of my weaknesses are my sleep disorder, a strong sense of “what’s right”, and a tendency to snap-judge inside the first minute of knowing people.
I can’t imagine having a wife and two growing children at this point in my life! I’d enjoy it, I think, but the life change would be so drastic, who knows what sort of situation things would be in? I do want to live more than an additional 11 years. I still have my spleen, so I think I’m reasonably safe from going the same way pop did.
