Quebec Cops Are Sissies
=================================
Four carloads of police, two ambulances and an animal control officer were needed to control a cat that mauled an elderly man. The commotion was so great that police responded in force because they thought they were dealing with a domestic dispute, said Marc Gaudreau, a spokesman for the Trois-Rivieres-Ouest public security department.

Stout Support for What Ales America
=================================
One Keystone State congressman believes Congress has yet to quench its thirst for tax cuts and is pressing to make happy hour a whole lot happier. A bill sponsored by Rep. Phil English, R-Pa., who said he represents a district of hard-working, blue collar constituents who like to drink beer, would roll back the federal excise tax on beer to pre-1991 levels — about half of what it is today.“In my view, alcohol taken in moderation can have a positive affect,”

I’m Drunk And We Both Know It Kits Available
=================================
Police officers pulling over suspected drunk drivers have a new enemy on the road these days.
It’s a wallet-sized booklet that with a push of a button makes a 10-second announcement that acts as a kind of verbal cop repellant.
“Please understand that I will only exit the vehicle for your safety or if under arrest,” the recorded voice says. “Please read the enclosed for additional information.”
It is called Ramsell’s Roadside Rights, named after DUI defense attorney Don Ramsell, who himself has been twice arrested on charges of driving under the influence of alcohol — and twice acquitted.
The device is supposed to keep police away from your window so they can’t look in your eyes or smell your breath. Drivers also hand police a card indicating they refuse to take a Breathalyzer or answer any questions without a lawyer present.

World To UK, Keep Your Farrakhan Ban
=================================
Lawyers for the controversial religious leader Louis Farrakhan have begun their appeal to overturn a 15-year old ban excluding him from the UK.
The ban was first imposed in 1986 by the then UK Home Secretary Douglas Hurd, following opposition to Farrakhan’s presence in Britain by the Board of Deputies of British Jews who cited his “anti-Semitic and racially divisive views.”

Dude, It Like Made Him Mellow And Stuff
=================================
He’s 7 years old and afflicted with a brain disorder that has wracked his body with extreme changes in mood, energy and behavior for years.
And now he’s at the center of a controversy that pits a caring parent against a protective bureaucracy on the high-octane battlefield of medical marijuana.

Farmer Cuts Off Own Arm To Save Self
=================================
After finding himself in the maws of a bailling machine, the farmer realizes his only way to avoid being sucked in is to cut his own arm off, with a metal strip from his headphones.
“I was scared, but after I cut my own arm off, I had all sorts of adrenaline,” he said.
His father looked for his arm while his friend drove him to Fairview Ridges Hospital in Burnsville…
Wagner said his arm still hurts and that doctors told him they might need to amputate more of it. He said he thinks he’ll be able to continue farming, “but not like I really want to.”

Ex-Menudo Member Claims To Have Career
=================================
A former member of the Latin pop group Menudo claims a massage-chair mishap at a Sharper Image store had him seeing double.
“Contrary to its name, defendant Sharper Image has caused blurred and double vision” for Ruben Gomez, his $12 million lawsuit charges.
“This is about economic loss. His whole career was pushed back because of this injury,” said his lawyer, Pam Liapakis.