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Flipping through a book of maps
I come to rest on one of a land not so far from here, a place I’ve never been.
The location has a simple name, one that might make a good one for a pet.
I can see the home of the one I care most for, near the bay, not so far from a lighthouse.

I touch that point on the page, and feel the pulse of my finger there
beating, my heart-rate pressing in slow beats over her city
the tip warming with blood and love, I raise the pointer to my lips and kiss it softly,
imagining that she’s there, a tiny amoeba inside a ridge of my fingerprint.

my hand brushes along the page,
tracing a footpath along the beach with her
walking with shoes off watching the sea lap the shore.
a place where we would warm a bench, play horseshoes.

she could point out the old barn
the big tree in the field
a friendly horse or two
the place where she sings sometimes with her friends.

the sky is gray there, now
air getting cold, wind kicking up
I give her my jacket and my arm
the feeling of her close to me is better than anything else imaginable.

Everything I see reminds me of her
how she’d react, what she’d say
expressions, sounds, scents and emotions.
She touches every cell of my being, permeating, lightening me.

Even Gary looks sad to me. I hope she’s ok… I’m assuming she’s off reading, doing chores or working on something else, and just forgot that she’d said that she would be “back in a sec”.

I’m feeling a little sad today. Things aren’t clicking the way they should, and it’s depressing me.

{update} She got sick! 🙁 poor thing had a worse day than me… I *knew* something was up. stupid me for whining about little things.

Pompano Beach lighthouse Click to see larger image, in a new window.Back from walkies, figured I’d show you one of the things I see when I go up the beach a bit.

The lighthouse is actually a much further away, but you can see it on the horizon from the pier that I walk up to…a really nifty sight at night or in the early morning, especially during a dark, thick rain…it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it lit up, maybe two or three years… I’m about due to visit it in the dark again sometime…Sometimes I think about taking my sweetheart there, and comparing it to the one closer to where she lives.

I’d recite a sonnet to her… (Pardon me for clipping Billy Shakespeare’s 41st)

Some glory in their birth, some in their skill,
Some in their wealth, some in their bodies’ force,
Some in their garments, though new-fangled ill,
Some in their hawks and hounds, some in their horse;
And every humour hath his adjunct pleasure,
Wherein it finds a joy above the rest:
But these particulars are not my measure;
All these I better in one general best.
Thy love is better than high birth to me,
Richer than wealth, prouder than garments’ cost,
Of more delight than hawks or horses be;
And having thee, of all men’s pride I boast:
Wretched in this alone, that thou mayst take
All this away and me most wretched make.

All, because I do love her so. A walk along the beach with her, holding hands, watching the sunrise. She’s in my heart and with me wherever I decide to wander…thoughts of her heart beating next to mine, as well as inside it, her lips pressing against my own, our souls together, happy, and joined as one.

Just got home.

Bleah.

Going to bed… got to talk with my sweetie, anyhow. 🙂

The Velveteen Rabbit

“…Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand…” (the Skin Horse)

nigh night. 🙂

p.s. http://www.main.gadclan.de/flash/dengdeng.swf

(silly, noisy, but fun)

Moody.

Grumbly.

I’ve been missing out on gabbing with my sweetie today, and even if she was available, I’ve been bombarded with last minute fixit code, and would have had trouble chatting much anyhoo.

Bah.

Tomorrow’s my brother’s birthday… he’ll be 29. sakes. is that possible? I need to get him a nice treat to go with his cash. (he can use the cash more than a big prezzie)

I want to just fold my arms like a genie, and blink… make all of life’s little bugaboos go away. sadly, pods only possess low grade mind-reading powers… I’ll have to resort to love and charm to make folks feel good, instead. Including myself.

One year ago today, I met my sweetheart.

I’m amazed… it hardly seems that long… I can certainly say that with her in my life, the quality and comfort level for me has gone way up. I can’t say enough how in love with her I am, and how delighted I am to be loved by her.

well, it’s raining, and my ride is about 10 minutes away, to whisk me home. 🙂

I’m incredibly antsy today, maybe I’ll transcribe some of my writing tests to the journal… I’ll see what this evening brings.

I feel poorly. I can’t wait to get home to (hopefully) a fixed ac and a lovey newton…. I’m still a bit anxious about my sweetheart, too.

I worry about my loves. I want them to be happy, healthy and comfortable.

Ugh.

Hot hot hot.

I woke up early this morning after a fitful sleep, and thought that I had a fever…woke up in a sweat. It turnes out that the more reasonable explanation is that I’ve been worried about my sweetheart feeling ok, and my air conditioner died sometime last night/early this morning.

I called the landlord, and have cranked all the fans in the house to full. Newton will be fine, since it’s a little cooler, but it’s still a bit warm for me to be puttering around there. So, I sent some anniversary trinkets of happiness to my beloved… (should be there by 3pm tomorrow… officially one year ago tomorrow we will have met.)

I’m now at work, in the netroom surfing, and waiting for my sweetie to pop online.

thanks, Jason, for pointing phoons out to me!

Time to just stop for a moment. Turn off the TV, turn off the radio, fold up the newspaper.

Today is the first truly splendid weather of the new season. I mean, it is fantastic. Standing in front of an open window with no shirt on kind of weather. Big deep breaths of cool air, close your eyes and sigh kind of weather. Summer is over. I hope wherever you are, you manage to get some of this breeze.

Phoons put a smile on my face this morning. Just a bunch of people posing for pictures as though caught in mid-sprint. This Father Serra one is a favorite.

If I was still active in any Champions or superheroic games, I’d have to make a character called the Phoon. it’s just a good word.

(that and now I want to drink mum tea, with my sweetie, phooning.)

I finished Stephen King’s On Writing. I need some time to think about what I’m going to say about it, and when I get there I suspect I’m going to have a lot to say. I’m sure will be interested, but who knows who else will be.

word of the day, and a reflection on my morning walkies. (Def 1), and my sweetheart, (def 2)

quagmire (KWAG-mire; KWAHG-), noun:
1. Soft, wet, miry land that shakes or yields under the feet.
2. A difficult or precarious position or situation; a predicament.

Quagmire is from quag, a dialectical variant of quake (from Old English cwacian) + mire, from Old Norse myrr, “a swamp.”

Lots of road construction out and about today, with piles of wet sand all over and splashy rain puddles to boot. although it was a little rough going, I enjoyed it and didn’t think of the roaming as a trudge, but more of a “rough terrain experience.” I’m glad I was wearing my beat-up birks… they needed to be rinsed off and left by the back doorstep due to all the mud and assorted yucka.

rara avis (RAR-uh AY-vis) noun, plural rarae aves (RAR-ee AY-veez)

A rare person or thing.

From Latin rara (rare) avis (bird).

I find myself thinking about my sweetheart all the time… I can hardly believe that we’ve known each other about a year now… it seems like just the other day we’d just fallen in love. I still catch my breath when I see her, and feel my heart skip a beat when her voice touches my ear. She really is all things beautiful to me… her soul, her mind, her heart, her body… they all are possessed of such wondrous and appealing properties that I can hardly express my emotion. I love her so much! Even when I go on walkies alone, she’s still with me, sharing the view, holding my hand, smiling and observing the world with me… she truly is a part of me. *happiness*