Wonder Woman!

Continue reading Thinking of my sweet little Ornj… and a song comes to mind…. →

got a paid account? get preferential treatment on the faster servers… here’s how… thanks, Brad!

http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=74

Four guys are driving cross-country together — one from Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, one from New York.

A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.

The man from Nebraska turns to him and asks, “What the heck are you doing?”

The man from Idaho says, “Man, we have so many of these damned things in Idaho they’re laying around on the ground-I’m sick of looking at them!”

A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins pulling husks of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window.

The man from Florida asks “What are you doing that for?”

The Nebraskan replies, “Man, we have so many of these damned things in Nebraska I’m sick of looking at them!”

Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.

These color photographs of circa-1915 Tsarist Russia by Sergei Mikhailovich Prokudin-Gorskii are amazing (particularly these two).

I sent my machine off with Astley tonight, and I wonder how long it’ll take him to make things right. The hardware needs a good working over, and I don’t have the time or the inclination to deal with it myself…however, if he doesn’t have the box in my house and running like a top by Sunday, I’ll simply demand he puts things as they were, and for him to return my money. I’m glad I’m not as upset over this as I might be…he’s been very inconsiderate with my time and patience, but I really don’t seem to care. *shrug* A pleasant side effect of being in love, I imagine. 🙂

hu·mor (hymr)
n.

1. The quality that makes something laughable or amusing; funniness: could not see the humor of the situation.
2. That which is intended to induce laughter or amusement: a writer skilled at crafting humor.
3. The ability to perceive, enjoy, or express what is amusing, comical, incongruous, or absurd. See Synonyms at wit¹.
4. One of the four fluids of the body, blood, phlegm, choler, and black bile, whose relative proportions were thought in ancient physiology to determine a person’s disposition and general health.
5. Physiology.
   1. A body fluid, such as blood, lymph, or bile.
   2. Aqueous humor.
   3. Vitreous humor.
6. A person’s characteristic disposition or temperament: a boy of sullen humor.
7. An often temporary state of mind; a mood: I’m in no humor to argue.
8. 1. A sudden, unanticipated whim. See Synonyms at mood¹.
   2. Capricious or peculiar behavior.

v. tr. hu·mored, hu·mor·ing, hu·mors.

1. To comply with the wishes or ideas of; indulge.
2. To adapt or accommodate oneself to. See Synonyms at pamper.

Idioms:

out of humor

In a bad mood; irritable.

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[Middle English fluid, from Old French umor, from Latin mor.]

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word of the day…. (sounds like it refers to a potty to me)

commodious kuh-MOH-dee-us, adjective:
Comfortably or conveniently spacious; roomy; as, a commodious house.

Commodious derives from the Latin commodus, “conforming to measure, hence convenient or fit for a particular purpose,” from com-, “with” + modus, “measure.”

amazingly unpissed.

big brain (my huge computer of normally great might and strength…) is 90% dead.

things that need repair:

usb ports (by extension, usb modem, webcam, palm cradle)
dsl net connect
dial-up net connect
video drivers
sound drivers
joystick port

bad ram, maybe
bad processor, maybe

fortunately, I have my laptop, or I’d be more ripped than the hulk’s purple pants.

Having A Penis, No Longer Defines Man
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In a far-reaching decision that sets forth new legal criteria for gender identification, the Kansas Court of Appeals ruled Friday that J’Noel Gardiner, who had a sex change operation in 1994, is entitled to a court hearing on whether she should receive a portion of her late husband’s $2.5 million estate. A three-judge panel overturned a Leavenworth County probate judge who declared the 1998 marriage of Marshall and J’Noel Gardiner void because she “was born a male and remains a male for purposes of marriage under Kansas law.”
“we can no longer be permitted to conclude who is male or who is female by the amount of facial hair one has or the size of one’s feet.”
http://www.kcstar.com/item/pages/story,local/3accaa16.511,.html

Microsoft – WH0 D0 J00 WANT T0 0WNXOR T0DAY
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The back door was included in software shipped with Microsoft’s Windows NT operating system, the company confirmed. Hackers knowing how to exploit the vulnerability could access any site using FrontPage 98 extensions, Microsoft said. FrontPage, a Web authoring and site management software package, requires that special software code–or extensions–be present on the Web site for all features to be available.

To exploit the weakness, a hacker would also need authoring privileges on a particular Web server. By accessing a single file, called “dvwssr.dll,” the hacker could write a script allowing access to many more files on the site.
“This is a vulnerability because it allows an author on one Web site on a shared server to see anything on another server,” said Steve Lipner, manager of Microsoft’s Security Response Center. “That’s the extent of the vulnerability.”
http://news.cnet.com/news/0-1003-200-1696137.html

Yo, That Tie Be DOPE, Dawg!
=================================
These days gang members don’t always look like thugs.
Taking advice from older criminals–some imprisoned, some retired but consulting, some still active–many hard-core gang members have traded their outfits for a more conservative look, a look police say enables them to expand into white-collar crimes without the early warning the old costume set off.
http://www.latimes.com/news/state/20010514/t000040581.html

Packaged Rebellion
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Coming soon to a store near you: Black Panther Party backpacks for the kids, a leather jacket for Dad and oversized Huey Newton T-shirts for Mom to wear around the house.

And now available on the Web: barbecue sauce from Hells Angels founder Sonny Barger and home-grown recipes from alleged Liberation Army member Sara Jane Olson.
http://www.contracostatimes.com/partners/ns/panthers_20010514.htm

British Mums-to-be Too Posh to Push
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The modern expectation of a pain-free life may be behind an increase in Caesarean sections in Britain, according to discussions at a recent Royal College of Midwives conference, where some midwives say comfortable, middle-class women are simply “too posh to push.”Caesareans account for 20% of births in the United Kingdom, up from 5% in 1972 and 10% in 1985. In Canada, 18.7% of hospital births were Caesarean sections in 1997-98, up from 17.7% five years earlier.
The study could not explain the decline in natural births, but suggested possible reasons included a desire to avoid pain or post-birth problems like incontinence, and the demands of working women to plan their childbirths.
http://www.nationalpost.com/home/story.html?f=/stories/20010514/562540.html

The New Ketchup
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After unwrapping her first McDonald’s cheeseburger, Jackie Wollenberg noticed a brownish-red stain on the bottom of the bun. Thinking it was juice from the beef, she tore that part of the bread away and finished the burger.
When Wollenberg unwrapped her second cheeseburger from its yellow paper, she saw what appeared to be a bloody fingerprint on the wrapper. Then she looked at the bun and saw two drops of something that looked like blood on the top.
Horrified, she went to the counter of the West Bay Boulevard restaurant and asked whether an employee had recently been cut. A young man with a bandaged hand who identified himself as a manager approached, she said.
http://www.sptimes.com/News/051301/NorthPinellas/Woman_says_burger_has.shtml

A Million Bullets For A Million Moms
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Stephen Pistolakis, 61, of Shawnee Drive was arrested late Saturday and accused of making terroristic threats against one of the organizers of the Million Mom March postponed yesterday in Albany, police said. The march was among several scheduled in New York state supporting gun-control measures.
He allegedly referred to marchers as “Nazis” in a message saying, “I’ve got a million bullets for a million Mothers,” on Vivian’s voice mail around 6:35 a.m. Friday, according to the police report.

http://www.injersey.com/news/app/story/0,2110,393601,00.html

I just got home from work. I was going to write a lovely bit of tumor fiction, but I’m too tired. 🙁

I have a concept rattling aorund in my skull though. Hairy, toothy tumors with human brain matter are the stuff nightmares are made of.