Category Archives: Uncategorized

glassdog Lance showed these to me.

Sometimes you have to wonder about what marketing people are thinking about when designing banner ads.

Take for example the advertising currently in rotation at DoubleClick and appearing all over the Web for a firm called Bizhosting. They show a happy, smiling, unassuming and presumably satisfied customer extolling the benefits of setting up a new account at Bizhosting and how easy and wonderful it is.

Then they, apparently, take a whiz across the entire ad on the “Click Here” link. Now, what kind of message were they trying to convey, do you suppose?

I have to hand it to the woman, though. It’s gotta be pretty hard to squeeze your thighs tight enough to aim that well.

http://www.scottobear.com/lj/bizpee1.gif

http://www.scottobear.com/lj/bizpee2.gif

http://scottobear.com/lj/ThirdMan.jpg

Roaming the alleys of my mind, pondering coming tomes to fill it.

I need to find a new book to read. If I don’t find some to buy soon, I’m going to go to project gutenberg and download something. I’m unsure of what I want to read, though. Some nonfiction, documentary/historic/biographic stuff, I think, then a cheesy pulp fiction (like Tarzan or the shadow), then more solid stuff again. I really don’t like having nothing new to read in the house… I have about 5 books on my palm right now, but they’ll be consumed before I know it. How do I get t long-dead authors to write more stuff? I’d really like to find some lost Jules Verne or HG Wells.

Right now I’m leaning to Two Years in the Forbidden City by princess Der Ling. (My sweetheart has me floating on an Asia kick. 馃檪 )

A Guilty Statement.. I never got around to reading Last Of The Mohicans… but for some reason, I don’t feel a drive to. Perhaps I’ll take a look, and see if I’ve been missing anything.

In other news… I *really* want Mexican for dinner. A cheese enchilada, some refried beans and rice. nummy!

Wow! Look at this little bitty mammal, barely bigger than a paper clip. I didn’t know there were mammals that small….but apparently there were 195 million years ago.

Incredibly enough, while reading this, actual monkeys flew out of my butt.

Sea monkey update –

4 big ones (3 male, 1 female)

3 mid-size (1 male, 2 unknown)

6 or more specks.

No Mad Ludwigs yet this set of generations.

This colony has been going about month longer than Newton is old. Started Mid September 1999. It had to be restarted (all originals died out, I suspect to poor oxygenation of the water) in June of 2000.

Fed every Friday, bubbles blown.

Straight dope – Latest – The Civet. 2 for one –

I have heard for as long as I can remember (and even read in a book somewhere) that a major ingredient of Chanel No.5 perfume is the sweaty excretions of the Abyssinian civet cat. I have even heard that they stretch these cats out on some type of medieval rack and whip them mercilessly to make them sweat more. The Straight dope, Please?

Is kopi luwak for real? I mean, coffee made from beans that have taken a ride down the alimentary canal of an animal? I hope this is a joke, but I’m worried that it’s not.

You’re wondering what these two questions have in common?
Better sit down, friends. It’ll become apparent all too soon.

word of the day, and a little extra

dop路pel路g盲ng路er or dop路pel路gang路er DOPP-ul-gang-er, noun:

A spiritual or ghostly double or counterpart; esp., an apparitional double of a living person; a cowalker. (A phantasmic or “astral” body deemed to be separable from the physical body and capable of acting independently.), especially one that haunts its fleshly counterpart.

——————————————————————————–
[German a double: doppel, double (from French double); see double + G盲nger, goer (from Gang, a going) (from Middle High German ganc) (from Old High German).]

You find yourself standing ankle-deep in the surf of a vast, green-blue ocean.

A candy-striped lighthouse stands on the edge of a finger of rock to your left. On your right, the gold-white sand of the beach follows a gentle curve and fades off in the distance. Behind you are your shoes, a large beach blanket and a picnic basket. Sitting on the blanket is a cluster of dainty creatures. They eat tiny, wedge-shaped sandwiches, occasionally sipping from a bone china teacup. One of them, a pale skinned beauty with thick red hair and a black lace parasol watches you and smiles.

“Won’t you join us?”

Where your eyes don’t go
a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms
and does a parody of each unconscious thing you do.
When you turn to look its gone
but behind your back its wearing
your confused expression
where your eyes don’t go.

— They Might Be Giants

Before I go to bed.

I get this in an email from my cab driver guy, Joel.

Your suggestion to keep a chaste female gorilla could leave her vulnerable to cancers as in chaste human females.

(a great non-sequitur comment, but we were talking earlier in the week about primate psychology, and why I wouldn’t keep an ape as a pet unless it was a female and chaste… Males are aggressive after a certain age, and females develop a dangerous safety zone after having birthed)

Good night.

Addendum: Mixed feelings tonight. I feel a little cast off.

Listen to the singing tumor…the residents sing to you…

Jelly Jack

Ho ho ho I’m Jello Jack the jolly boneless boy.
I live inside a jar beside the rooster boy named Roy.
They pour me out upon a platform and the people stare
At eyeballs in a pool of flesh surrounded by some hair.

I wish I was a cowboy or maybe just a bird
Singing simple melodies that no one ever heard
Soaring with the winter winds and bringing in the spring
Sharing air with orioles and bumblebee that sting
And making babies proud of all the bugs that I would bring.
I’d sit up high above the ground and laugh as I looked down
at all the silly humans as they slowly trudged around.

But as I see the end of evening turn into the night
The bird inside my brain becomes a light that is too bright.

In his dreams at night he hears a white hot light
And he knows that God is singing in his dreams at night.

Hot heat smolders smoking embers
Vibrate deep, vibrate deep
Cause teeth clinch, cause vibrate deep
Inside the sucking sound of suction,
Suction, sucking sections of my soul,
Sucking section of the only thoughts
My mind will salivate and drool
And press against itself and press
Against itself and feel the cursing
Flow of fever, driven, biting, grinding, clinching,
Ream the center of the Sun
With shaft of Solid Steel
Know that there is nothing like the feeling
Of those steel fingers up inside
Of something sticky, sweet and wet
Feel the lips of licking licky wet liquid;
feel the tongue that touches the tips of sharp pointed things…

uh oh… can I avoid this one?

http://www.msnbc.com/news/575167.asp?cp1=1

Sony and LucasArts is showing off their massively multi-player version of Star Wars due to hit computer screens next year, probably as a major salvo in the opening Summer 2002 Movie War which will undoubtedly be dominated by Star Wars, Episode 2.

Still, first looks at the game offers proof that the makers of Everquest have learned a lot from that incredibly popular role-player. The Star Wars universe will allow players to be any one of the myriad Star Wars creatures, from Gunguns to Bathans (but not, apparently, droids) and choose to be male or female. The worlds are “virtually” 16 kilometers across, but you can always hop on your Bantha to get across Tatooine in style.

Herman, The Human Mole (Lyrics by The Residents)

This song strikes me as How I feel about LJ and web cams. Herman seems to be the type to have both. (Not a slam… Heck, I have both!)

Herman — The Human Mole

Herman

Herman
Herman isn’t happy
Herman isn’t well
Herman is an albino

Not that you could tell.

Herman
Herman
Herman is dirty
Herman is cold
Herman is thirty and
Wishes he was old

But he isn’t.

Herman has a trailer
On top of it is grass
He filled the inside up with dirt
And made the sides of glass
He lets you climb the steps
Up to the top for free
And look down through a little hole
Above his old TV.

But if you want some more
You pay to go inside
The tent that goes around the trailer
In which Herman hides.

Herman plays piano
When no one is around
He has an upright baby Steinway
Underneath the ground.