Like Giving Candy To A Baby
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The FBI said Friday that it is investigating the cash purchase of “large quantities” of candy from Costco stores in Hackensack and Wayne.

“We have been advised and we are looking into the incident of a gentleman buying large quantities of candy,” said Sandra Carroll, an FBI spokeswoman in Newark.

Did anyone tell the FBI that Halloween is coming?

The Man Is Keeping This Magical Elixir Away From You!
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The magical elixir is supposed to cure all sorts of ailments: gonorrhea, leukemia, sleepwalking, AIDS, arthritis, athlete’s foot — even anthrax. And now, thanks to Howey-in-the-Hills Mayor Greg Bittner and the Town Council, colloidal silver is the officially endorsed “simple solution” for anthrax or any other malady that might strike the 950 residents of the quiet Lake County village.

Bittner, definitely not taking his cue from medical science, told a council meeting last week: “This is the greatest medicinal item that has ever come along. It wipes out virtually every virus.” Wishful thinking. Federal health officials in 1999 prohibited the marketing of colloidal silver as a remedy for any disease because it turns human skin blue and gray — permanently. And they say the fluid — actually, tiny particles of silver suspended in distilled water — doesn’t cure a thing.

Officials at the Food and Drug Administration and the Federal Trade Commission were horrified to learn that any government would promote what they consider a
scam.

Potential New Japanese Fetish: Undercover Transvestite Police
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Cops often say police work is a drag, but it seems the Aichi Prefectural Police have taken the belief a step further in an effort to combat a criminal who pilfers women’s purses, according to Josei Jishin (10/30).

Parts of Nagoya have been plagued in recent months by a snatch-and-grab thief targeting young female office workers and hostesses walking along dark thoroughfares. With over 300 robberies reported for the year as of the end of September, police decided something had to be done.

As female officers are usually relegated to traffic duties in Japan, only the male members of the force were considered as realistic weapons to combat the crimes.
Although the idea of dressing up male officers as women trying to lure the bandits into the open began as a joke, Masanori Hyodo, an Aichi Prefectural Police lieutenant, soon found himself ordered to give it a try.

“We picked out four of the smallest, thinnest officers we could find and designated them our cross-dressing cop corps,” Hyodo says. “Snatch-and-grab crimes occur almost instantaneously, and neither the criminal nor the victim can recall many of the details of what’s happened.”

Um, I thought that it was a gag when they did it on Barney Miller, dressing Sgt. Fish up as an old lady. Go figure!