A new ointment containing diltiazem–a drug used to treat chest pain and high blood pressure–effectively relieves anal fissures, small tears in the lining of the anus that can cause pain, bleeding and itching.

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010426/hl/ointment_1.html
I wonder if it can do anything about micromanaging bosses?

Free Boobies Make Women Soldiers Happy – Men Ain’t So Upset Either

The Army has paid for a handful of female soldiers to have breast enlargements to make them happier, the Ministry of Defence has said.
A spokesman said that four women had received breast-enhancing surgery at one military hospital since the start of last year, and the total number is likely to be higher.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/010426/80/bnhai.html

Breasts Enlarged to 40DD — Without Permission

A California Appeals Court has upheld a jury’s decision to give a woman $1.08 million because a doctor surgically enlarged her breasts without her permission, but the woman has decided against getting the operation reversed because she no longer trusts doctors.
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010426/od/breasts_dc_1.html

Get A Boob Job, More Risk of Suicide

Women who get breast implants may be at increased risk of brain cancer and suicide, according to results of a study by the National Cancer Institute.
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010425/hl/implants_cancer_1.html

Woman Killed By Amateur Boob-Job

Two factors drew 36-year-old Thi Hanh Lan Tran to an unlikely surgical facility at the back of a dingy downtown Toronto rooming house last month: The price for the operations was about 30 per cent lower than at an accredited clinic, and the so-called surgeon spoke Ms. Tran’s native tongue, Vietnamese.

Yesterday, Toronto Police Detective Alan MacDonald observed that several women who attended Ms. Tran’s funeral in March had visible scars from recent plastic surgery on their faces. Police suspect that, like Ms. Tran, many of those women had been patients of Minh Tam Thi Le, 36, who came to Canada last October on a student visa to study hairdressing.
http://www.globeandmail.com/gam/National/20010425/UBUSTMSB.html

Mime Becomes Spokesman

Marcel Marceau, known around the world for his silent portrayal of a sad white-faced clown with a tall, battered hat, was chosen by the United Nations (news – web sites) Wednesday as a spokesman for the older generation.
For world peace – we finally found a scapegoat we could all agree on.
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010425/en/people-marceau_1.html

Sissy Gets Beaten By Creed Lead Singer

Creed singer Scott Stapp allegedly threw punches at a clubgoer who heckled him on Sunday (April 22) night at a St. Augustine, Florida nightclub. According to published reports, the man egged Stapp on, saying, “You should’ve stuck with Pearl Jam.” The agitated vocalist then reportedly yelled back, “You want to disrespect me?” to which the patron replied, “You’re not a superstar.” It was then, reports say, that Stapp hit the man, giving him a bloody lip and black eye.
http://music.yahoo.com/music/news/launch/story.html?a=n/music/news/launch/rock/20010425/9/p1&b=n/music/news/launch/rock/20010425/9/p2