Bigfoot are reported to be 6.5 – 9 feet tall. Generally, Chupacabras are usually noted to be not much more than 4 feet tall. Bigfoot from the West Coast are known to be quiet, retiring, and eat some small mammals but mostly plant material. Chupacabras are reported to be aggressive, have spikes and sharp claws, and attack livestock with nasty intent. Who do you think might win?

The Cryptozoo

In the spirit of Gael‘s recent addition of the dreams bit of info, and sweetalyssm‘s recollection of a dream last night, petfish, ginamoog‘s recent comments, I’m going to start posting my dreams ( what I can remember) here, transcribed from my dream notebook. (I’ve discovered that if I don’t write them down, they are shampooed away with the morning shower.)

Former Solid Gold and Pure Platinum owner Michael Peter required strippers to read his employee handbook, How To Make Money. In it, Peter shared his wisdom and advice on how nude entertainers can extract the most cash from customers.

“A $5 fee for a three-minute dance represents an income of $100 per hour, $800 per day, $4,000 for a five-day week, $208,000 per year, putting you in the top 2 percent of earners in this country.”

“A personal dance is much like making love. There are three things to remember:
Sit down and introduce yourself. This is like foreplay and captures the guest’s undivided attention.
The dance is like the sexual act itself. It should be sensual and moving and leave the guest breathless.
Leaving the guest immediately following the dance is like rolling over and going to sleep. Stay for a few minutes, maybe smoke a cigarette, and let your guest enjoy the glow he will feel after your dance.”

“Shoes should be a minimum of 3 inches high. Open-toed sandals (at least 3 inches high) will require you to have your toenails manicured and polished. Your shoes should always look new, clean and polished.”

“Entertainers should shower daily, use an antiperspirant/deodorant and have clean-shaven legs and underarms. Entertainers should also keep breath spray or mints in their lockers.”

“When you are sitting with a guest, you should never ask personal questions like “Are you married?” or “What do you do for a living?” unless they volunteer the information. Don’t sit with one guest for more than three songs. If he is tipping you and buying dances, you may stay with one guest for up to, but not more than, five songs.”

Unspeakable acts:
1. Don’t talk about last night.
2. Don’t talk about company matters.
3. Don’t talk about other guests.
4. Don’t discuss politics, religion or racial subjects.
5. Don’t get personal.
6. Don’t get smart.
7. Avoid the appearance of giving orders to guests.
8. Don’t complain, gripe, rant or rave.
9. Don’t argue.
10. Don’t embarrass guests by correcting them.
11. Don’t talk about yourself

“Your personal life away from the club is your personal business. If you date somebody that works in the club, please do not be seen conducting long conversations with each other on a personal basis when you could be spending time with a guest.”

“Don’t ever make the mistake of dating a guest (someone you met at the club). It’s the professional entertainers who learn the value of saying “No” to guests, who make the most money and carry the most respect.”

“Entertainers should never count their money in front of guests, nor should the amount of your fees be discussed with anybody.”

“Selling any type of sexual favors to anyone is prohibited.”

“When you come off the stage and dress back into your floor clothes, go back into the lounge and look for each person that has tipped you. Start with the person that came from the furthest point in the lounge. Thank him again, introduce yourself, make some small talk and ask for a dance. Chances are, that if this person was interested enough to come out of his seat and tip you on stage, he will buy a dance.”

“You can have guests anchored with drinks (they purchased for the dancer) at several different tables in the lounge at the same time. Use this method with each guest who has purchased you a drink. None of the guests will know you are doing it with the others. Having a drink on the guest’s table makes it easier to get a dance from a guest who says no the first time you ask.”

I have seen *ALL* of these rules broken, at different times, employee handbook or no. (generally the hygiene rules were the most strictly enforced.)

Visit this page once a day to make donations to 45 worthy charities

Daily Donation Page

please do?

Payday. Last Friday of Hellterm. (7 business days is more than a week, I guess…) They ™ worked me hard this morning, but I got to see Ornj, for a wee bit… She’s so special, brings me right up. No time to polish off my holiday cards… I’ll have to do that tomorrow, early AM.

Must finish shopping this weekend. still far too much to do. naughty slacker scotto.

note to self – Year of Snake, January 24, 2001.

today in history –
In 1952, Christine Jorgenson is 1st person to undergo a sex-change operation
In 1964, Canada adopts maple leaf flag
In 1973, American Psychiatric Assn declares homosexuality is not mental illness
In 1973, Pirates of Caribbean ride opens at Disneyland

Holidays (even though I still have to work.)
[Esperanto League] Zamenhof Day (1859)
[Kazakhstan] Independence Day (1991)
[Malaysia] Hol Al-Marhom Sultan Ibrahim of Johore
[Netherlands Antilles] Kingdom Day/Statute Day (1954)
[Pakistan] Quaid-i-Azam’s Birthday
[US] Bill of Rights Day (1791)
[World] Underdog Day

And now, to find myself something hot to eat. A nice bowl of soup would set me right…

for ($i=0; $i< =3; $i++) {print "Hon"}

santa claus < north pole >town

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus < north pole >town

cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus < north pole >town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep ‘bad|good’
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}

SIR, ARE YOU USING ONLY HALF YOUR BRAIN?

You’re pretty smart. We all know that.

You know all about partial differential equations, computer
programming, cost analysis, flow charts and vectors. If it can
be put into an equation, expressed in human language, or recorded
on a graph, you can handle it.

When it comes to the semantic circuit of the brain and precise
manipulations of symbol systems, you’re a champ. Any everybody
knows it.

But what about those mysterious right-hemisphere brain
functions? Intuition? Synergetic apprehension of whole systems?
Esthetics and ESP?

Imagine trying to live with one eye, or one lung, or one
testicle.
Isn’t it equally a handicap to use only half your brain?

“Specialization is for insects.”
— Robert A. Heinlein

“I once knew a man who was an ear, a magnificent ear, the
greatest ear in Europe. But that was all he was:an ear.”
— Nietzsche on Wagner

HEY, MAN, ARE YOU USING ONLY HALF YOUR BRAIN?

You’re pretty hip. We all know that.

You can throw an I CHING hexagram and intuit its meaning. You
know all about Hedonic Engineering and staying high. You’ve seen
through all the social games.

When it comes to the neurosomatic circuit of the brain, and
body wisdom, you’re a champ. And everybody knows it.

But what about those mysterious left-hemisphere brain
functions? Wouldn’t you like to learn the secrets of the West,
previously known only to the adepts at the esoteric Princeton
Institute for Advanced Studies? Stranges arts like the Equation,
which predicts things before they happen, or the Syllogism, which
allows you to test an argument for internal validity? Or
wouldn’t you like to know how the mysterious Stereo works, or
what keeps planes from falling out of the sky?

Imagine trying to live with one eye, or one lung, or one
testicle.

Isn’t it equally a handicap to use only half your brain?

Subscribe to SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN
(not a religious organization)

Five bucks says he smells burnt toast!

Grr! GRR GRRR!!

Apparently many of my responses never made it to their destinations….thank you much, pokeystinkypootie server.

Ah, well, nobody was expecting me to write them this week, anyhow.

Eighteen beans…he means, the heifer weans, as she eats her greens. These scenes revere ravines, as butterflies flutter by and snatch the flies out of the butter. Fly as a flock flies, as aerodynamic airplanes and weathervanes maneuver like cranes while dodging cranes. Brainy crania make many errata, mainly men, while what women name minnows and sinews? Flailing in feelings, reeling in relatives, baking cakes and taking breaks when brakes break–“Heaven’s sake!” Sounds, syllables, liable grounds, filled opal~fallopian fetal pliable petals and metals in Constantinople. Steeple, church, weevil’s lurch, Birch bark, feral beast, dark scourge, nutritional yeast. Feast on the means of the queens’ gowns but recall, moats drown. He who wears fake socks and joins the Fake Sox has loins and groins no one mocks, but fettered and frittered in litter covered in flies. Rock beats are seen as red beets and deadbeats and dead Beats. Sine means fine means for three quarks to equal nineteen. Christine.

Heppy Big Honking Birfday, TARPO!!!!

I’ve been working hard the last some hours… first rest to gab.

Today’s looking rough, depsite a fresh breakfast of Cap’n Crunch with milk and orange juice, a bright and early morning walk, and a half-hour of playing with the Newtie-boy before work. Upon my arrival at work today, a screaming horde of maniacal work orders flew at me, not unlike seagulls from ‘The Birds’. I’m mostly unharmed though… waiting for some systems to reboot, so I can get the print server to work right…

What’s for Lunch? I hope you sickies are having tea and maybe some hot soup… I’m shooting for subway, maybe. Someplace that has tasty, not-to-bad-for-me food, to make up for the sugary-filled breakfast.

Some more wacky links, if you’re of a mind…

Dude,your sperm is slow.

New Wacky Patent

The Register Asks Jeeves

Queen Kills Old Coot

Dirty Ham Money

Gore’s Real Reason

FIGHT!

The Cheap ass Game that fits on a business card

Players: 2-6

Playing Time: Two minutes and up.

Object: To run everyone else out of coins.

To Begin: Each player starts with one quarter, two dimes, three nickels, and four pennies. Determine randomly who will go first. Thereafter, play proceeds to the left.

On Each Turn: Play one coin from your pile into the middle of the table. You may then take change from the table, up to a penny less than the value of the coin you played. For example, if you play a dime, you can take out up to nine cents, if there are nine cents to be taken.

To Win: Be the last player with any coins left.

Strategy: Watch the pennies, and try to lose as little money as possible each turn. Don’t spend your quarter if you can only take out ten cents. Try to force your opponent to do exactly the opposite. Take away his pennies so he has to make lousy change. Good luck!

Something for you kids to play, while waiting for the grownups to quit talking about amortization.

I hope all you poor sickies out in LJ-ville get on the mend! *healing vibes and love* to all of you!

there seems to be an epidemic! Tarpo, Sweetalyssm, Nashata, Tillytollo, and a vast host of other pals that need de-germing!

Feel good, people!