Monthly Archives: September 2000

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review.

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The Low-Carb Cookbook: The Complete Guide to the Healthy Low-Carbohydrate Lifestyle with over 250 Delicious Recipes

My nominee for worst book of the year. This lame attempt at a high-octane crime thriller comes up far short of any sense of suspense or terror – or even mild interest.

I would describe the plot of “The Low-Carb Cookbook: The Complete Guide to the Healthy Low-Carbohydrate Lifestyle with over 250 Delicious Recipes,” but there is no plot. There seems to be no coherent story at all from one page to the next; just a list of edible ingredients and a short narrative on how to prepare them.

“The Low-Carb Cookbook: The Complete Guide to the Healthy Low-Carbohydrate Lifestyle with over 250 Delicious Recipes” starts out promisingly, with a short interlude on a nice steamed chicken with asparagus tips. However, that story line is never completed, nor is it ever referred to again. Instead, on the next page is a non-sequitor jump to another food-related storyline, this one involving a light pork steak roast with wild rice and corn.

I became so frustrated with “The Low-Carb Cookbook: The Complete Guide to the Healthy Low-Carbohydrate Lifestyle with over 250 Delicious Recipes,” I gave up on it just 130 pages in. There was no main character, no secondary characters, no love interest, no antagonist, no beginning, no middle, no end, no flashbacks, no climax, no humor, and no plot. Why anyone would ever buy and read “The Low-Carb Cookbook: The Complete Guide to the Healthy Low-Carbohydrate Lifestyle with over 250 Delicious Recipes” is a mystery to me.

The only possible use I can imagine for ” The Low-Carb Cookbook: The Complete Guide to the Healthy Low-Carbohydrate Lifestyle with over 250 Delicious Recipes” is if someone out there actually wanted to try to prepare the food dishes described within “The Low-Carb Cookbook: The Complete Guide to the Healthy Low-Carbohydrate Lifestyle with over 250 Delicious Recipes.” But as a taut crime thriller, “The Low-Carb Cookbook: The Complete Guide to the Healthy Low-Carbohydrate Lifestyle with over 250 Delicious Recipes” is a miserable failure.

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Well, obviously, my post rate isn’t slowing down.

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if anything it’s speeding up, due to the light workload today… I’m wating for stuff to show up, so I can finish my day. I imagine it’ll show up at 5 and give me a rush end of the day… I prefer a steady flow, but I guess the pokey time now is ok. Just polished off a lovely bowl of soup (veggie noodle! yum!) and a yummy lemon salad… yery tasty, and not terribly bad for me. 🙂 well, except for the salt in the soup, I guess… Looks like I spoke too soon about being slow today, some bfiller work just jumped on my desk. bah.

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Yikes.

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Pay your tickets, folks.

My pal Suzy, who is a cab driver (was a cab driver, I’m guessing now.) went to her cab today, on her way to drive me to work. Two policemen were waiting for her, and took her to jail for unpaid parking tickets. She was warned numerous times, but apparently one squeaked by, and she got nailed for it. She’s guaranteed a minimum of 10-14 days of jail time while she waits until the judge has time to see her plead her case, and then (due to her past record) she might end up spending between 90 days to 15 years in jail.

I have mixed feelings about this. I’m concerned for her even though I know she’s safe in holding right now, so I’m not overly concerned about her physical well-being. When I talked to her on the phone (I had the honor of being her call, since Her other pal only has a cell phone. Can’t call those from Florida jails. I hope that this will teach her a lesson, albeit a harsh one. I hope she gets tested for drug use while she’s there, ideally so she can clean up her act, if it isn’t already. (I suspect that she’s using, but don’t know)… also it’ll be good to maybe scare some sense into her.

While she’s in lockup, someone has to start and stop her car a few times a week to keep the engine form seizing, and we have to make sure her rent gets paid so she’ll have an apartment to come home to. (she lives in an efficiency, and pays week to week) Not only that, but I get to call her mom, dad and sibs to raise $$$ for a lawyer and commissary. (commissary is like a px, or store when you’re in jail… trust me, you need it) Jail isn’t free for prisoners, they have to pay for uniforms, meals, and etc, either immediately or at the end. (usually a combination of the two)

I was totally not expecting these extra responsibilities. I’m sorry, Brad, but it’ll be another month before I can have a paid membership here. It also looks like I’m going to be tossing some bucks to the judicial system in the next some weeks. ow. September birthdays are going to be leaner this year too. (By the way, it’s the day after Suzy’s birthday today! Nice Present! )

Know something people. Save your money, because if you live paycheck to paycheck, you can get knocked totally off-course. Seriously, have something to fall back on. Try your best to save 5% of your paycheck, at least. Worst case, you’ll have money in the bank when you need it, best case, you can retire comfortably.

Next few installments, how to get a bail bondsman, how to visit people in prison, how jail is *not* like the TV show Oz, How it *is* like Oz, and why Scotto associates with known felons.

I’m not sure how busy I’ll be the next few weeks, and how often I’ll be updating, but I’ll certainly be doing it all from work, so I can keep the phone free. (I can take incoming phone calls… but the net doesn’t deal with call waiting.. just ignores it, so I’ll be offline evenings.)

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gnite! feeling good. :)

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And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life that’s full.
I’ve traveled each and ev’ry highway;
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say – not in a shy way,
“No, oh no not me,
I did it my way”.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows –
And did it my way!

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happy songs

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Not much thought, but some. first ten songs that come to mind that bring me great happiness, in no particular order:

1. Stevie Wonder – sunshine of my Life
2. Otis Redding – Dock of the Bay
3. Johnny Angel by (what’s her name, played Coach’s girlfriend! ack)
4. Happy Happy Joy Joy – Grandmaster Whizzleteats
5. They might be giants – Birdhouse in your Soul
6. Enya – Damn near anything.
7. Crash Test Dummies – Superman’s Song
8. Wagner – Das Rheingold
9. Holst – Jupiter
10. Theme to Freakazoid. Mighty fine.

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hallucinations – Sam and Max style

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on my voice mail.

BEEP – heh heh heh heh ::Snort:: Roooooooooh Hahahahahahaha I am no-one- – I am resisolobussss BRRrraaaauuugh ::thupthupthup::

I think it’s demonically possessed, or my buddy Dan is up to his old tricks.

My fave interjection of the moment. “Holy Jumping Mother O’ God in a sidecar with chocolate jimmies and a lobster bib!”

Give me a root beer popsicle to dip into an orange julius. It’s good. Trust me on this one.

Argh. I was wondering… why did they name the mission to the moon for Apollo, the god of the sun? Why not Diana? or Some other moon-like thing, like the green cheese express? It doesn’t make sense to me. I bet you can breathe on the moon. They can in all the movies… I bet it was just the candy-butt astronauts were too afraid to try taking off their precious helmets. Sissies. Ah, probably not. I’m jealous because you have to be between 5’8″ and 6 foot tall to be a spaceman. I look out my window, and see murky outlines of terrible immense beings lumbering thorugh a nightmarish cityscape. They’re trundling toward me… is scurrying pathetically away like an earwig an altogether unmanly thing to do? ::removes brain from convolution analyzer:: Hm. Twisty.

Thinking about my need for groceries. I realize that I shouldn’t shop when hungry or conscious. the grocery store near me has great stuff, from amusement park quality lunch meat, to matzo balls (with free launcher inside!). Cereal. a Delicious thing. the smell of polyvinyl, day-glo and glow-in the dark treats…the last time I got Cap’n Crunch, the toys inside expressed themselves as possessed evil spirits strolling in and out of the cosmic doggy-door between here and the hereafter. The air was filled with a preternatural evil, not unlike the after effects of a coney island hot dog, as described to me, very recently by an increasingly pregnant friend. I began to scream like a grandmother, fleeing for my life from the manifestation of the collective sorrow and frustration of all those people whose apple cart and roadside beef stand businesses were steamrolled into the ground by the cold, sterile megamart like the one I was in. Or it was a ghost. I channeled my energies in a more positive direction instead, and bit the foul toy creature repeatedly. In my victory over them one thing ran through my mind, again and again. Don’t forget the pop-tarts.

I’m officially slap happy. I’m going to bed. ugh.

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noticing…

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looking over the popular interests page and discovered that swimming is more popular than sex

I live by the beach. Am I doing sometihng wrong? I was also surprised to find Tori Amos was more popular than food.

Science fiction beats out chocolate? what? nope, I deny that.

For what it’s worth, livejournal is apparently more interesting than money or religion. Why aren’t there more paid members? I think I’m sending brad my $$ this Friday, when I get paid, as this is easily the most frequent program I use or think about these days.