I love old comic books.

Scoobie doo!

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The Bed

Oh the bed
Oooh the bed
Ahhh the bed
Oh the bed
Mmmm the bed
I love the bed

You can lie in bed
You can lay in bed
You can die in bed
You can pray in bed
You can live in bed
You can laugh in bed
You can give your heart
Or break your heart in half in bed

You can tease in bed
You can please in bed
You can squeeze in bed
You can freeze in bed
You can sneeze in bed
Catch the fleas in bed
All of these
Plus eat crackers and cheese in bed

Oh the bed is a thing
Of feather and spring
Of wire and wood
Invention so good

Oh the bed comes complete
With pillow and sheet
With blanket electric
And breath antiseptic

Let there be sheets
Let there be beds
Foam rubber pillows
Under our heads

Let there be sighs
Filling the room
Scanty pajamas
By Fruit of the Loom

You can eat in bed
You can beat in bed
Be in heat in bed
Have a treat in bed
You can rock in bed
You can roll in bed
Find your cock in bed
Lose your soul in bed

You can lose in bed
You can win in bed
But never never never never
Never never never never
Never never never
Never can you sin in bed!

“Fly me to the moon,
And let me play among the stars,
Let me see what spring is like,
On Jupiter and Mars,

In another words hold my hand,
In another words darling kiss me,
Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing forevermore,
You are all I longed for,
All I worship and adore,

In another words please be true,
In another words I love you”

Kung fu on the brain… undersea version of Wizard of Oz…

I’m picturing an elaborate underwater set, with WoO recast by Hong Kong stars. Maggie Cheung as Dorothy, Sammo Hung as the Cowardly Lion, Jet Li as the Tin Man, and Jackie Chan as the Scarecrow. Toto will be a monkey and we will have the perfect film. Simon Yam can play Fu Manchu/ the Wizard, and since it’s the 1800s, Dorothy can be taken down there by the definitive Disney Nautilus. I like Chow Yun Fat as Capt. Nemo….

Blargh…

Feeble MS Access 2000… the thing can’t even do a simple linked table query, without just sitting there like a maroon for an hour and a half… next time I’m going to compare the three tables on a two-at-a-time basis.

I wish I could be surfing the web now, during primary downtime… but The Overseer(tm)(c)(pat.pending) is lingering around today… foraging for reasons to bark and yelp like an angry ape. Anyone have any spare Tranq-darts I can use on him? Maybe tag his ear with a radio tag, so I’ll know a few moments in advance if he’s coming, or on a charge?

Actually, I’d qualify him as rogue… maybe we can get a team of men to take him down….

Neato!

http://filepile.org/ is a place where you can do short term file drops…

Take a penny, leave a penny (provided the penny is less than 10 megs)

I’m so nosey, this is great….

*this just in.. Going on a job interview tomorrow Morning, before work… got to pick out my clothes, make sure I’m extra squeaky nice… Ugh… the appointment is at 8:45. Well, I did request they be early enough that I can go in during the week. Wish me luck, folks.

(I still want a gig as a well-paid philanthropist… pay me to do good works… 🙂 )

Oh, I hope I do well…times when my colossal size doesn’t help… not good to intimidate potential employers.

“Ugh, me Mongo. Mongo want job… give, or Mongo SMAAAASH!”

“er, we’ll call you.”

“Mongo no get job, did Mongo?” Pouts, and skulks out…

*closes door, kicks foundation, and the building shudders, then collapses on itself.

Hmm.. goal is to win them over with my personality, Get ’em to see past the bestial exterior.

I don’t normally share these, but…

The 30 Least-Quoted Lines from Shakespeare

30> “Let me not to the marriage of two stars admit impediments — except for prenups, Scientology and a complete lack of sexual chemistry.”

29> “When thou cravest her and thy balls be blue, to thine own self be true — if thou knowest what I meaneth.”

28> “I seek to find those amongst thee as have released the canine beasts.”

27> “If the glove fitteth not, acquiteth you must.”

26> “Out, out damn spot! Lord Starr doth this way come!”

25> “In gold cannot my love for thee be wrought. Hark! Thy pimp approacheth!”

24> “No pickle, no lettuce — shall onion be next?
By orders most special we ne’er are vexed.
To our humble servility, pray you, defer!
Permit us to serve thee as thou dost prefer.
Have it thy way…”

23> “Oh, what a tangled web we surf, for pics of Britney’s astroturf.”

22> “If thou need your life upended,
Twisteth that dial and all is mended.
The Rage and Demons battle o’er hell…
See it, hear it, feel it — the XFL!
(Tonight on UPN at 8, 7 central)”

21> “Prick us, do we not bleed? Kick the guy next to us in the nads, do we not laugh mightily?”

20> “Egad, methink that will leave a scar. Be thou in good health, Julius? Julius? Quick, grab his wallet, I’ll get his sandals.”

19> “Hath not a spud eyes? And, too, a dark spot that you really should cut out before cooking?”

18> “Good Friar Laurence, bear witness of this potion thou hast given me — will’t rest upon mine posterior and lik’n’t unto that of an ox?”

17> “Is that a dagger I see before me, or art thou just glad to see me?”

16> “What fools these portals be — and I, their investor!”

15> “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio — hey, donuts!”

14> “Begone, jackanapes — we have no need for badges reeking of the waste of monkeys.”

13> “If damned Spot had been put out before nightfall, methinks the floor would be dry and sweeter fragranced anon.”

12> “Address thy discourse to the elbow, for mine hand careth not.”

11> “I beg thee, sirrah, gather up thy tongue; ’tis Pat Morita at which you gaze — not Connie Chung.”

10> “What ho, good lord! To what end dost thou employ’st thy time upon this goodly planet?”
“Lo; as I partake in observance of this most excellent spectacle of sport, I do most heartily raise a vessel of ale and quaff it thus.”
“Verily, verily…”

9> “O insolent chad, most feebly attach’d, how thy dimpled visage doth confound noble intention!”

8> “Come, pull my finger; so that thou may’st see that silent things may also deadly be.”

7> “A wiffle ball hit into Hamlet’s crotch is the soul of wit.”

6> “A horse! A horse! Of course… of course…”

5> “We are such stuff as dreams are made of where thy final exams commence without thy knowledge and thou lookest down to find thyself bereft of pantaloons.”

4> “My deeds would go unpunish’d, but for thee, ill-mannered meddling kids, and Scooby Doo!”

3> “I have defeated the French at Agincourt this Crispian’s Day, and hence shall hie me to Disneyworld.”

2> “Thou killed my father
To get to my mother,
But here is the ringer:
Thou can bloweth me, Chester —
I’ll see thee on ‘Springer.'”

1> “Cry ‘havoc,’ and let loose the Chihuahuas of inconvenience.”