When I was a kid, one of the priests I knew co-opted jack-o’-lantern making as a Christian thing.

The Pumpkin Gospel or Pumpkin Parable is a Christian teaching tool or children’s ministry activity that uses carving a pumpkin as a metaphor for spiritual rebirth: picking a pumpkin represents God choosing a person; cutting the top and cleaning out the inside represents removing sin; carving a smiling face represents a new creation; and placing a light or candle inside represents letting Jesus’ light shine outward.

That’s all nice and everything for him, but I remember rolling my eyes at age 8.

Somehow, to me, having your brains scooped out and replaced with the light of another mind is a horror; that level of loss of self seems beyond existential.