If you have known me for 25 years, from LiveJournal or anywhere really, and I still want to talk to you, know that you are beyond awesome; if you still want to talk to me, that is even better.
Thank you for being here. It’s a hard world right now, and I think that you are improving it.
As for me, I feel like I have more rough edges now than I did as a young man. I think it’s supposed to be the other way around. I don’t want to be a grumpy old dude.
I was talking to a longtime friend and they said something pretty solid, and kind to me that I think bears saving, and looking back to later on
I learned a lot from you from very early on. I struggled with managing my feelings especially around rejection and belonging. You were a great example for me in terms of being less reactive and less reliant on the opinions of others. Even now when I’m deciding how to react to or feel about someone treating me badly, you come to mind as I process it. I go back to the good example I’ve had and the lessons I’ve learned and you were a huge part of some of the maturity I gained back then.
I think cruel men often soften as they age, but it’s normal and probably a good thing for very kind men to develop some sharp edges over time. Kindness is an action, and sometimes a difficult one, so it costs something every time. It is worth it, but some people take advantage either directly or by not taking responsibility for who they are – and that will wear you down.
The world needs more kindness but you can’t let it destroy you. There have to be boundaries.
Boundaries are vital. I want to be kind, but I absolutely need boundaries, too. I can certainly still learn from myself to be less reactive, too. Opinions of others still don’t mean a lot, unless I care about people that hold them.
It is hard not to want to lash out against the cruel, and there are so many cruel people out there these days. I think it is better in the long run though to temper that enthusiasm with a plan to either correct that cruelty or remove the strength from it. If they can’t be fixed, remove oxygen, and stuff them out, without propagating the noise they bring if at all possible. Organization and forethought, while not as immediately gratifying, can lead to real change and not amplify my own rage.
As for LJ, there are some lovely folks who have been phenomenal for over a quarter of a century.
Those who leap immediately to my forgetful mind in no particular order, and I am sure there are others that are momentarily sitting in the Swiss cheese part of my brain:
Blackhellkat ( she is so amazing, I married her)
Appelard – visiting later this year, maybe?
Tarpo
Billijean
Ldy
Mootpoint
Lilmizcareall
Rosin_dubh
(I had to wrack my brain to remember some of the original usernames)
Folks that i have lost track of, mostly due to facebook going away but would love to see again-
Meredith, Juliabee, yoni, weezeroni, eyeslikesugar, dcl, wickenden, oneeyedcat, eryxuk, graypumpkin, kat78731, keethrax, wickedflea, gael
And I would *love* to know who Darktrain is/was.