Tag Archives: religion

9654 – Thursday

March 19, 2009 scottobear Leave a comment

Franklin (the outdoor cat who lives near my office) followed me a bit this morning to work, I stopped to give him some love – he’s a sweetheart. I made sure to wash my hands very carefully – don’t want to allergy myself too much, or possibly bring back feline leukemia to the boys at home. I should start bringing Franklin a little treat or something.

. . . .

http://www.flickr.com/photos/scottobear/archives/date-posted/2009/03/19/

If I’m not careful, BHK is going to make me adopt him and bring him home. Plenty of little hellcats at the house already, but I’m a soft touch.

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Though I am of no particular religious faith of my own, I don’t mind when others express belief… to a degree. Riding the green line into work this morning, a wall-eyed lady was shrieking out hosannas and praise the lords intermixed with some tuneless chant-like singing. she had headphones on, but I suspect that they were just props so she could ramble loudly.

I’ve seen this from assorted people, numerous times – usually on the bus, but the train here and the tri-rail back in Fort Lauderdale. Why are folks permitted to holler at the top of their lungs while I’m confined to the same space as they are? I think that the train is better for just making a lot of noise without repercussions, because it’s less likely that it’ll stop and eject the person.

(They won’t shut up – all I want to do is nap)

I’ve been "witnessed" to at least 4 times, maybe more while on the bus. I’ve noticed that the best thing to do is just be quiet and let it pass, because the folks doing it are generally more than a little unhinged already – I don’t want someone flipping out too much.. it seems like they run out of gas after about 15 minutes (which seems like an hour) and then start again maybe 5 minutes after that.

There needs to be some sort of code of ethics – if I’m trapped with a person that is at the minimum causing sound pollution that I don’t want, or at maximum is a foamy-mouthed looney, I get upset. I was fantasizing about picking up a tranquilizer dart gun somewhere for the bulk of the noise.

Seventh Day Adventists against Proposition 8

November 2, 2008 scottobear Leave a comment

Adventists Against Prop 8″ is an initiative started by a group of Adventist pastors, teachers and students in California who decided, out of their commitment to the historic Adventist principle of the separation of church and state, to voice their concerns about (1) the Seventh-day Adventist Church State Councils public support of California Proposition 8, the proposition that would amend the state constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry, and (2) the imposition of a fundamentally religious definition of marriage that this Proposition represents. Hundreds of Adventists from a broad range of backgrounds have joined this cause and signed a public petition asking the Church State Council to rescind its support of the proposition.

Please share this video with friends and family members. Visit http://AdventistsAgainstProp8.org to learn more.

Hm. good for them.

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9411 – Tuesday

August 26, 2008 scottobear Leave a comment

Work is getting back to paces – looks like we’ll have a few very solid weeks of care to deal with up ahead. I’ll take my replacement day off at that point.

Not too many people to socialize with out here, and when they are available I’m pretty busy. After this primary project has been done, I can get back to visitors and whatnot.

BHK made tasty sausage (tofurky italian sausage for me) and veggies on whole wheat spaghetti with garlic bread. Yummitty yum yum! More tomorrow for lunch, and that’s fine by me!

Middleman tonight was fun – I don’t blame the aliens at all for minding our intrusion, and it was nifty seeing inside Ida’s noggin.

Joe Biden’s pro-RIAA, pro-FBI tech voting record

By choosing Joe Biden as their vice presidential candidate, the Democrats have selected a politician with a mixed record on technology who has spent most of his Senate career allied with the FBI and copyright holders, who ranks toward the bottom of CNET’s Technology Voters’ Guide, and whose anti-privacy legislation was actually responsible for the creation of PGP.

That’s probably okay with Barack Obama: Biden likely got the nod because of his foreign policy knowledge. The Delaware politician is the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations committee who voted for the war in Iraq, and is reasonably well-known nationally after his presidential campaigns in 1988 and 2008.

read more here

or just for general skeleton closet stuff – http://www.realchange.org/biden.htm which mentions his plagiarism and less than stellar academic merits.

Sweden bans teaching of religion outside of religion classes in government-approved schools.

In what could possibly be a major blow to a scientific consensus that has held for decades, recent research suggests that the traditional conception of Neanderthals being “stupider” than Homo sapiens may in fact be misleading. As articles about the research findings state, ‘early stone tool technologies developed by our species, Homo sapiens, were no more efficient than those used by Neanderthals.’ The data used in the study is available on-line along with a visual description of the process used.

1 year ago – simpsons movie, bhk cake pic, hot out!, atw man missing tv pic, tina party & loot, danny back to school

2 years ago – back from an all too brief visit, nose buttering, bunny suicides, events of the day, liberty city psp homebrew hack, jojo the cannibal kid, maple cookies, folks, met Adam / Future In-laws

3 years ago – power out phone post, hurricane katrina aftermath pictures (and Newt), Bro out, Techs unavailable

4 years ago – BK heads north, random visit to a 2001 entry, behavior variances, quiet-please

5 years ago – sleep schedule, zombie game (poor thing aborted), monkey helpers, first lost child.

6 years ago – Deer Hunter, Apache, Equality/freedom Poll, Emerson, flying saucer, heroclix 200 point armies, McD hot dogs, wpoison

7 years ago – that piercing woman , lj vibe change, many links (not all work anymore)

8 years ago – Godzilla, quizzes, leftyrok added me (Thanks, photoc!, IMT threatens to move all operations north to Tampa, dean martin

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9285 – Monday – Happy 8th, dear journal!

May 19, 2008 scottobear Leave a comment

Forgot to mention yesterday – fresh kittens in the neighborhood. I think Tuxedo-kitty is the father, and one of the “cimnim” kitties is the mama.

No matter how stony-hearted I can get… baby kittens melt it pretty quickly. (Kittens are good for discipline and mind control, as anyone who’s watched Hyperdrive can tell you.)

See also, Obama with a Kitty as running mate. (Personally, I’d like to see Kcarab Amabo, AKA The Evil Mirror Universe Barack Obama join in the festivities. )

My livejournal account is 8 years old today.

I didn’t really get to posting daily until 8/2000, but 9284 posts in 8 years is pretty surprising to me. Something like 3 posts a day, give or take.

Some had a lot more content than others, of course.

In 8 years… a lot has happened. If you’d have told me then that I would still be doing this now, I’d probably have doubted it. The LJ community as a whole has changed hands a few times. The service has been a great boon to me.

I met my wonderful wife on livejournal…. and more than a couple of other new and delightful people from around the world in person as a result, too.

I reconnected with friends that I thought were long lost – both from gaming groups and high school.

I’ve pretty thoroughly documented my 30s here. Walkabouts, musings, dating, work – there’s not much about me that you can’t find here… some things are privatized or friends-only security, but the vast majority is open to the world. I sometimes wonder if that’s a good idea, but it’s worked well for me so far.

I tend to keep my really rough rants or personal lists (shopping for presents and reminders, mostly) to myself. I also used to archive chats here, before google talk; which automatically does it now. I’m guessing there weren’t many – maybe 20 or 30, tops.

I’m not really online much for chatties these days, but here and there you might catch me, dear journal. (Gmail checks, generally) my profile page has a list of assorted locations to look me up.

Adam’s in Haiti, doing more missionary work – he sounds all right, there were a lot of concerns for his safety. Funny that nobody raised safety issues when he went to Guatemala last year.

a bulk email he sent out –

Hey Everyone!

I am at a Hotel in Petit Goave, Haiti. The lady at the front desk let me use the Internet, so I have to be really quick.

First of all, we have been very safe the entire time. The first guest house we stayed in was in Port-au-Prince and run by Americans who have live there for 12 years. They laughed at me when I asked if there was anything to worry about, and they said that they had teams down here the entire time the riots were happening a month ago. They said that instead of returning from their work sites at 4:30, they just came back an hour later, because by 5 or so the rioters would get tired and all go home, haha. The house has an average of 13 people staying there every night of the year, it was really cool.

Now we are at a hotel in Petit Goave. It is way too nice for us! It is more like a resort, but I guess it was the safest place they could find, and that’s what matters most.

Yesterday we helped out a a track event for children which was meant to bring many schools together to inform them about HIV/AIDS. Today we went to a very poor community in the mountains to inform about the same thing, just didn’t have a track meet. We haven’t actually done any blood work or anything like that yet, so it’s been really safe. For the rest of the week we are going to be doing more events with children and some community clean-ups, etc.

I gotta run. I don’t know if I’ll be able to email again, but just know that the State Department is full of it, haha. Especially with the precautions we are taking, we are very safe. If I don’t get to email again then I’ll talk to you or see you in 7 days.

Love,

Adam

PS: Send this to anyone who might be interested in hearing my status/update, and thanks for your continued prayers. See you all soon!

glad to hear he’s aok! I suspected as much.

1 year ago – 7th year entry, milk and cheese figures, bhk takes care of tm’s kitties, lunch with in-laws, David and Gill move to Charlotte

2 years ago – 6th anniversary, clothes shopping, busy recovery week, Don’t ask for directions in Baltimore

3 years ago – Star Wars, Dead Riddler, PETA kills animals, Newt @ kittenwar, neobrara, hong kong bun-snatching, sex offender sweep

4 years ago – wet week, duckling videos, lots of wander-pics, you’re so vain (odd couple sing), using wifi for plausible deniability, Feast Day of St. Dunstan, Florida Black Bear

5 years ago – bro fishing, Eh.net, asteroid probe, bookhenge in There, Drunk Man Hurt After Running Into Elephant, PT, severe weather, #21 in top 40, ljer ages, compat quiz

6 years ago – no cpap, broken pic links for me to fix later, grocery,waste to energy, Mayan symbols, ginger orange tofu, hot mail copying yahoo jerkiness

7 years ago – Iron Chef, Family Guy, Lj troublesome, feeling coarse, gals system down, astley hoses me over.

8 years ago – Scottobear’s LJ is Born – just a marker, really.

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Voice Post

May 15, 2008 scottobear Leave a comment

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9279 – Thursday – It was all a dream.

May 15, 2008 scottobear Leave a comment

Dreamt last night that we were touring a pair of Monasteries – Tibetan style, Buddhist things. Apparently, I wasn’t too interested in the firs tone, and had to rush to the second before the bell rang – doors would lock and wild dogs tore apart anyone not inside one of the two feuding temples when the bells summoned them.

The ground between the two buildings slid and shifted… I (much more nimbly than I might’ve in waking life) leaped from stepping stone to stepping stone, avoiding too-clear water that was running thickly, like syrup. Once on the second place’s stairs, the dogs curled up and went to sleep.

The building itself was very nifty – all sorts of oddities inside, not unlike a Ripley’s. One was closed off with a curtain – a skeletal mammoth with an elephant-sized, but human shaped skull – save for a single tusk/horn curling upwards from the tip of the chin area of the mandible. I went to take a picture of it, but a guard (I don’t recall his garb – if he was a mall security type or a warrior-sort.. I just knew he worked there, wasn’t just some guy) told me that it was forbidden. He then smiled at me, took a picture with his cell phone and was promptly gored by the skeleton. The tusk tore a rip in him from crotch to throat and where he opened up, rose petals fell until the body was just an empty skin.

A different member of the monestary showed up and apologized to me – I couldn’t attend service, because the priest was shorter than me. However another fellow, taller than me would be available to walk me through services on Tuesday, at 8:30. I asked if he meant morning or night, and he laughed… “Don’t you work? – it’s at night.. it’ll be 8:30 pm to 10pm, then there’ll be snacks, bell ringing and wheel turning. Does your wife dance?”

I said that she did, though we really have never been.

I’ve never been to a Tibetan monastery… now, I suspect that I’ll be a bit disappointed.

After telling her about it, BHK says that I’ll never get hot dogs grilled with onions and green peppers for dinner again. I hope that’s not the case.

ok these are awesome: http://www.instantrimshot.com/ and http://www.sadtrombone.com/

Gorilla mask-wearing robber demands money, pants.

Police believe they have arrested the man who, wearing a gorilla mask, robbed a 62-year-old woman at gunpoint Monday night and later ordered another man to hand over his pants.

The woman was getting into her car at the 3035 Hamilton Church Road Wal-Mart at 10:15 p.m. when the masked gunman appeared. He pulled the car door open and tried to wrestle away her purse, police said. She fought back and kicked her assailant.

He, along with an accomplice, then got into a maroon Pontiac SUV and fled.

Less than an hour later, two 27-year-old men were walking back to their apartment from a Bell Road convenience store when a Pontiac SUV pulled up beside them. A gunman wearing a gorilla mask got out and demanded not only money, but the black cargo pants worn by one of the men.

The pair gave them money and the pants, and the gunman got back into the Pontiac and fled, police said.

At midnight, Officer Shaun Hardin spotted a maroon Pontiac Aztec and stopped it on Haywood Lane near Faulker Drive. The driver, Adrian Cornelius Alexander, 23, of Highland Ridge Drive in LaVergne, did not have a valid license and was taken into custody, police said. In the vehicle, police found a gorilla mask, bandanas, two bullets, several pairs of latex gloves and the black cargo pants belonging to one of the Bell Road robbery victims.

The victims identified Alexander as the robber, police said. He, along with his passenger Antwan Haynes, 18, of LaVergne, have been charged with two counts of aggravated robbery, police said.

Charges for the Wal-Mart attack are expected to be placed in the next two days, police said.

I just noticed that it’s the anniversary of my father’s death. It was ages ago… I miss him, now that I think about it, but I haven’t really had him in my thoughts much in recent times. I wonder why… I wouldn’t have realized if I hadn’t seen the archives, at least not until I saw 5/15 on my calendar at work, I guess.

1 year ago – Father’s Death Anniversary, Mom hears from Bro re: his sentencing, my challenges, happy to be “up north” and out of FL, people who have moved, more shaved ice (with pix)

2 years ago – bird flu / monkey pox, walkabout, podcasts, newtcam pics, jack lemmon, hoot, saucermen, exploding pants, bus ride poll, hail,

3 years ago – MP gift, pabst t, won rum, don lapre’s vitamin, personality defect, walkabout pics, monkey at large/safety in numbers, vampire sugar fuel cell, florida medicine is stupid, I smell good

4 years ago – first palm doodle on new palm, wireless sync, pics from houstons (hypno-orb), Library of Alexandria Discovered, Bones Found In Bag At Florida Cemetery

5 years ago – palm doodles, dreams / reflections on the old crew, chicken hawk cards,mailbox mystery, lunar eclipse, first use of publix grocery deliveries,Teen Girl Squad #3

6 years ago – saw waking life, dream thoughts, prep for star wars expedition

7 years ago – evil news, tumor thoughts, astley gives me defective hardware, humors,hunger-poll, Tsarist Russia photos in color, Paid users get fasterservers, Florida Joke

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9277 – tuesday the 13th!

May 13, 2008 scottobear Leave a comment

BHK made delicious pea soup! The perfect thing after a long day at work. Nomnommy. We supped over Ugly betty and the new TV Show King trivia game for the wii. I beat Abraham Lincoln, BHK and Bughah’s Kitty Puddy (random computer players plucked from our Mii farm). I like it, but the wheel is a bit too random for me.

WorldWide Telescope, developed by Microsoft’s research arm, knits together images from the Hubble Space Telescope, the Chandra X-Ray Observatory Center, the Sloan Digital Sky Survey, and others. Windows users (only) can browse through the galaxy on their own or take guided tours of different outer-space destinations developed by astronomers and academics. The application allows viewing from different wavelengths such as X-ray, visible light, and hydrogen-alpha radiation. Business Week has a review and some background on the project, which has been in development for years. Google Sky beat them to the punch but Business Week opines that WWT’s interface is superior.

Albert Einstein’s True Religious Beliefs Revealed

(he rejects it as “childish superstition,” but also disliked the hubris of atheism)

In the letter, he states: “The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this.”

Pictures of our town flooding from yesterday and before.

highlights from the slideshow provided by North Beach – reproduced here, but not taken by me.

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I’m really digging the combination of Pyecam and Newtcam. I just have to update my internal pages with Pye-links now. The cams are really mis-named, since either of the boys can land on either cam… the Newtcam is more permanently affixed in the sunny office, while Pyecam is on the more mobile, but less frequently live laptop
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Newt seems to be the most interested in playing in front of the cams… Pye prefers the living room, I suspect.

I’ve upped the resolution on both… I’m also considering making one or both live streaming video.

Who said polar bears are carnivores? That must be some tasty watermelon, is all I’m saying. Some great photos.

Forgot to mention the ATW man -He and his monkey-faced pal were pregnant with baby bumps for mother’s day. Clicks embiggen, as always.

“Burn Notice” returns on July 10 – so is it a summer filler?

1 year ago – mother’s day w/ family, gaia hypothesis, gavagan’s, jd’s party

2 years ago – fp with kev, rain, Pelosi kma, goofy armor, stairway to heaven backwards

3 years ago – work related, friday 13th, mood poll, zombie hunting, phone-sleeping, book meme, mp3, scientology vs fictionology

4 years ago – fam stuff, toe socks

5 years ago – recycling into fuel oil, kitty quiz, PT, Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator, potty poll, perfect toast

6 years ago – answer to oil dependency, iespell, memory of being a little kid w/ vampires, goofing around, dani postcard, 334, rain week

7 years ago – nonpareil, “hamburger helper, antibacterial”, family hangout, old coversheet, daydream, dead guy in living room, watermelons, a basic truth, lj-smell poll, cleaning up oil using human hair (and you don’t even need Superman to do it!)

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9199 – tues

March 18, 2008 scottobear Leave a comment

Workity work lived up to its name – there was a lot of hustle today, still catching my breath at the bus stop.

I really want to see the John Adams series, but no HBO. I guess waiting and getting it on Netflix will have to do!

50 things I’ve done meme continues with item 36. I…

36.’was a pretty avid gamer, back in the day. At my peak, I was playing in 4 different groups a week. (Granted, some of the groups had crossover – GP and Kat were in two of ’em) I tended to compartmentalize my buddies back then – for whatever reason, I liked to keep the potatoes separate from the corn and the meat on the plate. Some friends-groups were linked, like GP & Kat, while others rarely even knew I was “gaming around”.

Best gaming group ever was probably with just GP and Kat… “Brave and The Bold” stories. Two heroes, each of us got as much airtime or limelight as we wanted, and precious little lag from pokey party-members. The 4-6 player groups were good too, but when you don’t have to wait so long for a turn in combat or a say in dialogue… it’s the best. My biggest issue with extended groups is dealing with loners (sure, works in comics, but everyone else has to go into standby while they’re off doing their own thing and hogging everyone else’s play time. Best solution for that is probably keeping a character journal, and giving the GM a *brief* list of character developments between sessions. It’s just not polite to go toddling off. I don’t mind it as much when it goes sort of hill street blues style, where groups split off together into 2 teams, dividing and conquering… but that can make things slow,too. 2 to 3 players is about perfect. (4 with a gm).. wait a minute, I think I’ve covered this a bit before.

It’s funny, but I have a mental block about most of PM’s characters I recall Black Lotus (because I ran solos for her), but I don’t remember anything more about harlequin, aside from the name. She had a swordy person, a ninja-y person, a horse-trainer, a shadow controller, some sort of fairy-friend in the Ars Magica game… but most of the names and personality slip my mind.. I think mostly because she kept her characters quite secret, though pretty heavily detailed if you did get a chance to read backstory or . I can remember Doug’s Kit, KW’s Chrysanthemum, and of course Danny’s White Bow and Man of Iron quite clearly, for good or for ill. Tony’s Silver Hammer and Russian Ben Grimm knockoff. All told, everyone had a good time.

Oh- Minglegrin… that was the name I was looking for. I can’t make fun of the name much… character names like miniMAX, Zero, Parabola, Trism, Luhki Hornblower, Doc Firestone, Chuck Hurler – not to mention character names I can’t think of off the top of my head… the albino ape from the earth’s core and the grumpy cop from the paladins game that was paired with Danny’s loony officer.

A very cool Planet of The Apes timeline. (movies, TV episodes, and etc) – GP, you might want this as a character reference!

I Am (No) Scientologist, Will Smith Says – Moviefone – I guess the boycott is off then for Hancock! BHK is happy, I’m sure.

1 year ago – Behind the Mask, Tigger Adopted!, whistle blowers get some clearance,

2 years ago – bethany, st patty plans sacked,

3 years ago – much work, webjay, Danny invite, George, potential condo piccies (many mock the pre-move decor)

4 years ago – Astronaut Jones, Square Bear, speak and spell, Frank R paul, I create an fdle syndicated lj

5 years ago – iwo jima in the rock garden, I start using jarhead, wish for peace

6 years ago – facemaker, cab stacking, poem tag, timeline, roles I’ve filled, cool bunker

7 years ago – cartoon logic that works, alice, I want tasty snack food, lone gunmen, workplace desires

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9061 – Sat

February 16, 2008 scottobear Leave a comment

Woke up bright and early, rip-roarin’ and ready to roll. BHK and I had a tasty start of toasted bagels with cream cheese, and chugga-chugga-chugga.

After getting the parents, it was about… 11ish. Well, we didn’t lose too much steam – the in-laws were loaded for bear (girl scout cookies, soda-pop, and egg sammiches) we rolled out to our destination… Baltimore!

It was a bit of a drive, but the scenery was lovely, and the company was good… we all chitty-chatted about all manner of small talk.

We arrived at the Aquarium Parking garage at about noon, and headed off to see items lovely and aquatic… but it was not meant to be. The crowd there for the holiday weekend was vast… Chris didn’t want to navigate that swarm of roaming tourists. Totally understandable, if a little disappointing.

Upside… we had a secondary plan of action! The B&O Railway Museum! The place is sweet for folks that dig steam / diesel engines, or rail history at all (the B&O is pretty much the birthplace of American Railroading). We got a family membership to last us the year – it turned out the snow collapse of the roundhouse was 5 years ago to the day we returned. There’s still a lot of restoration going on to the trains that were hit, but most of them are in beautiful shape. BHK and I got a couple of pressed pennies to add to our collection.

(some of our walkabout pictures on flickr here. – more to follow as I upload and make some shots public that are currently hidden.)

Got pretty tuckered out after 5 or six hours there, filling my brain with train. We headed off to Annapolis for some Cheeburger Cheeburger (they’e getting a lot of play from us lately!) and then home to relax and unwind with the kitties – plans were to hang out and watch a movie with the in-laws, but they were too pooped to pop, so BHK had a lovely night together, instead.

I can haz The Entire Bible? Man, lolcats! Nice use of your spare time!

I wonder if this will win any converts in one direction or the other?

1 year ago – Amy visit, mac & cheese, fluxx and movie

2 years ago – eye close poll, work bail, boosh, canal discovery, compusa check?, gg

3 years ago – Jill Gone, BK & GO, JLU, Newt’s treat, mel-fade begins

4 years ago – Scotto on the enchanted path, bigfoot conference, Florida photos, Newt on his back

5 years ago – mickey gas mask, donkey kong jr, google bought blogger, mere-vallie, Scotto shop-palm, palm pic of the SG building, odd news

6 years ago – bloody mary mythos, feel poll, newt ill, rainy day, movie poll, fu-style, alphebetica cyberia

7 years ago – Haiku arena, weird al’s wishlist

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July 13, 2000 scottobear Leave a comment

90 percent of the world ignore the Catholics until they need help melting a vampire.

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Just a Bean Burrito, please…

June 16, 2000 scottobear Leave a comment

Taco Bell employees could fold you into oblivion. Maybe they can’t count or speak the language of the country they live in, and the band-aids on their oral herpes sores fall into your food, but Taco Bell employees are the foremost origami masters in the world. They have 3000 different lard-boiled flatulent treats – and ONE WRAPPER to put them all in. Even the Trainees, who get to proudly wear their status on their bean encrusted shirts can perfectly fold one of the 3,000,000 names on the wrapper to be in the exact center of a burrito.

I thought the people that worked there were just kids Taco Bell traded from smugglers for some beads and cigarettes, but hand one a magazine and they could fold you a time machine. I don’t know if it’s the most amazing origami training since the ancient Babylonians trained goats to fold special hats, or if all Taco Bell employees are from some kind of tiny specialized gene pool like Mormons or Sasquatch, but I do know this: If we ever stop eating, for any reason – we just might give these bastards time to destroy us. As soon as they stop screaming from grease splatter burns, we’ll be at the mercy of them and their unstoppable army of paper warriors.

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Classic net stuff, found in my archive… where is the origin?

June 12, 2000 scottobear Leave a comment

I caught this article in the Weekly World News at StaxStaxStax last
night. Since few of you would have picked up this magazine due
to the pair of 650 pound female models on the cover, I decided
to reproduce the article here:

(from the Weekly World News, page 17, 4th Issue 1995)

SUPERMAN’S SECRET IDENTITY WAS REALLY JESUS CHRIST!

[Massachusetts] Researchers at Miskatonic University recently
completed a seven year project code-named “Kent2”. The purpose of
this study was to determine if Superman had another secret identity
aside from his “cover” secret ID of Clark Kent, revealed repeatedly
in comic books, movies, and television.

The researchers at Miskatonic used a Cray 2 supercomputer to search
national databases and media archives to find links between Superman
and other notable historic figures to find who he may REALLY have
been. The surprising answer given by the Cray, nicknamed “Shallow
Thought”, after seven years of cross-indexing: Superman was really
none other than Jesus Christ.

Among the findings of the research team were the following:

Both Superman and Jesus were sent to another world as infants by
their fathers by means beyond our understanding. Both were
raised by surrogate parents who had no children of their own.
Jesus’s surrogate parents where Joseph and Mary, Superman’s were
George and Martha, a striking similarity. Both had the power to
leave their foster world at any time but chose not to for the
sake of that world.

Both Superman and Jesus hung out with and were followed by women
with the same first and last names. Superman had Lois Lane,
Jesus had Mary Magdalene. Neither ever consumated a romantic
relationship, perhaps because of their otherworldly origin.

This last-first name link was not limited to significant-other
females, but also included their arch-enemies. Superman’s most
dangerous foe was Lex Luthor, Jesus’s was Pontius Pilate. Both
enemies defeated the heroes but could never keep them down.

Both men were mild-mannered, but were feared by all in their wrath
when they became angered. Both refused any material reward for
their actions, and refused to participate in the squabbles between
nations. Both were tempted, but always resisted it.

Both Superman and Jesus died, although the true believers never
doubted they would come back (as they both did).

Other startling facts:

SUPERMAN got his powers from the Sun.
JESUS got his powers because he WAS the Son.

SUPERMAN formed a group called the Superfriends in his time, and
later came back to join the Legion of Super Heros far in the future.
JESUS formed a group called the Apostles in his time, and promised
to come back and do so again far in the future.

SUPERMAN was often linked with the violent, vengeful Batman and
the mysterious Wonder Woman who flew in an invisible plane.
JESUS was often linked with the violent, vengeful Old-Testament
Father and the Holy Ghost, who WAS an invisible plane.

JESUS said “Render unto Caesar what is due Caesar”.
SUPERMAN’s boss said “Great Caesar’s Ghost!”.

JESUS’s death spawned four new gospels.
SUPERMAN’s death spawned four new comic books.

JESUS could feed the masses with one loaf of bread and one fish.
SUPERMAN could squeeze a lump of coal into a diamond.

JESUS could have killed anyone with the power of damnation, but didn’t.
SUPERMAN could have killed anyone with his heat vision, but didn’t.

JESUS could play a guitar just like ringing a bell.
SUPERMAN…no wait, that wasn’t Jesus, that was Johnny B. Goode.

JESUS’s best follower was the faithful James.
SUPERMAN’s best follower was the faithful Jimmy (Olsen).

JESUS warned us that there would be false Messiahs.
SUPERMAN warned us about Bizarro Superman.

JESUS took on the Sins of the World.
SUPERMAN took on the Crisis of the Infinite Earths.

SUPERMAN could be weakend and killed by Kryptonite.
JESUS could too, but luckily there wasn’t any around back then.

SUPERMAN was faster than a speeding bullet.
JESUS was slower than a speeding spear.

Project Leader Prof. Val Ceth said the Shallow Thought computer will
next turn its attention on the puzzle of the secret identity of
the Batman. “We’re pretty sure he’s Ross Perot”, said Prof. Ceth,
“but we’re gonna run it through the computer just to be sure”.

Uncategorized

May 31, 2000 scottobear Leave a comment

I heard about this thing called country music. I’m still pretty sure that it’s a big group of cowboys that are playing the world’s largest practical joke since Mormonism. And some day, they’re all gonna take off their cowboy hats and chaps and say, “Got you!! Ha ha! Oh man, you guys totally bought it!”

Uncategorized

Papal Apology

March 16, 2000 scottobear Leave a comment

Mar 16, 2000

The Pope apologized for all the sins of the Catholic church. Listen, Pope, after the school girl outfits you guys invented, I can look past a few crusades, witch hunts, and inquisitions. Don’t focus on the negative things. I say next time you need to give a speech, don’t even mention that stuff, and just have 2 or 3 hundred of your 18-year-old female students come on stage and do aerobics. Even if they had panties on, it’d be a better apology than some half-dead mumbling in a language I don’t speak.

The Scotto Grotto (org)

Tag Archives: religion

9654 – Thursday

Seventh Day Adventists against Proposition 8

9411 – Tuesday

9285 – Monday – Happy 8th, dear journal!

Voice Post

9279 – Thursday – It was all a dream.

9277 – tuesday the 13th!

9199 – tues

9061 – Sat

Just a Bean Burrito, please…

Classic net stuff, found in my archive… where is the origin?

Papal Apology

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